By: Emma Thompson
In a moment of clarity after a caffeine-fueled day, I realized something important. As a new mom, I’ve undergone a whirlwind of changes since I got married in 2012 and soon discovered I was pregnant—surprise! Fast forward to today, and I’m now raising two energetic boys who are just 15 months apart. It’s safe to say life has taken some unexpected turns.
In less than three years, I transitioned from enjoying carefree summer days in a bikini to wrestling with the daunting reality of mom jeans and the desire to squeeze back into my old size 6’s—an ambitious goal, to say the least. One day, while mindlessly scrolling through social media, I found myself rating my mom bod against the flawless figures of my friends. That prompted a realization—this constant comparison is exhausting, and my reliance on energy drinks is a costly habit. What if I shared my genuine, unfiltered self instead of the polished version I usually present?
For as long as I can remember, competition has been a part of my life. From sports to career milestones, I’ve always felt the need to measure up to those around me. My basement is filled with old trophies and medals that remind me I didn’t fail completely. Yet, this competitive nature has often come at a cost. I’ve ruined friendships over heated games and lost my cool after a less-than-stellar volleyball match. Yes, I can be a bit intense when it comes to sports.
The first step to recovery is recognizing the issue, and after having my boys, that realization hit me hard. Motherhood shifted my focus from competition to simply surviving the day without spiraling into self-doubt. I found myself scrutinizing my reflection, navigating the new landscape of stretch marks and wondering if my abs would ever resurface. I faced a harsh truth: I felt like a loser—a vulnerable, squishy loser. My self-image plummeted.
I envied those superwomen who flaunted their post-baby bodies in bikinis mere weeks after giving birth. I was envious of their seemingly perfect figures, while I felt too ashamed to even shop at Walmart. Society seemed to dictate that having two kids was no excuse for not looking like a model—what a ridiculous expectation!
In my quest for the ideal body, I deprived myself of food, only to binge on Oreos when hunger struck. I attended spin classes like they were a new form of therapy, convincing myself I was simply getting healthy. Lies! What I truly wanted was the abs of Jessica Alba, the toned arms of Jennifer Aniston, and the flawless backside of Beyoncé. Totally realistic, right? I was fixated on rekindling an image of my past self, determined not to give up until I saw that version of me again.
Amidst this mental turmoil, I neglected the most important people in my life—my beautiful boys who deserved my full attention. One day, after dropping them off at the gym daycare, my eldest, Noah, pressed his nose against the glass door, his big eyes welling with tears. In that moment, I felt my heart shatter. Was I so caught up in my own reflection that I was overlooking the miracles that had shaped my body? Was fitting back into my high school jeans truly more important than spending time with my kids? Absolutely not.
That day, I made a pivotal decision: to stop competing with an unrealistic image, to stop tearing myself down, and yes, to treat myself to a milkshake. I allowed myself to embrace imperfection. I stopped holding my stomach in every time I passed a mirror, and I let go of the need to wear Spanx to bed.
Being a mom is enough—it’s more than enough. My priorities shifted; my boys come before my backside. I still care for myself, but my focus is on them. Trust me, chasing after two little ones burns plenty of calories on its own. A bit of healthy competition is fine, and staying fit is important, but I refuse to let swimsuit season overshadow the fleeting moments I have with my kids.
Social media’s pressure to compete with an idealized version of myself is no longer my concern. I will always be that fun-loving, competitive spirit, even if my jeans have gotten a bit stretchier over the years. I’m beginning to feel that we’re all on the same team, and I truly hope we all come out victorious.
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Summary
: In this candid reflection, Emma Thompson shares her journey from competitive athlete to a new mom grappling with self-image and societal expectations. She emphasizes the importance of embracing imperfection and prioritizing family over unrealistic standards, ultimately finding peace in her role as a mother.