My Marriage Is Unraveling, But I Choose Joy This Valentine’s Day

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Fourteen years into my marriage, I received a call from my husband on Valentine’s Day—though I wasn’t there to answer it. Instead, I was enjoying a delightful evening of steak, chocolate, and lemon cookies with my two single sisters at my mom’s house.

When I returned home that night and listened to his message, I found his voice unrecognizable. Although we had only met once, I appreciated that he was thinking of me on this special day. Glancing at the clock, I saw it was still early enough for a call, so I took the plunge and dialed his number. Our conversation stretched into hours, leading us to plan a get-together with friends just two days later.

Valentine’s Day had always been significant for us, even before we officially became a couple. We treated it as an anniversary during our dating phase, a day filled with excitement and anticipation. Over the years, we shared countless adventures—canoeing, dining at exquisite restaurants, and camping under the stars. Eventually, we got engaged, bought a home, and celebrated our marriage, quickly expanding our family with three beautiful children.

Now, 17 years later, our relationship is hanging by a thread, and divorce seems imminent. Yet, as this Valentine’s Day approaches, I refuse to dwell on sadness.

I will not let the day of love bring me down. It has always held a special place in my heart, evoking memories of heart-shaped candy and the joy of creating Valentine’s cards in elementary school. My mother made the holiday magical for us as children, even during her own divorce, by hosting lovely candlelit dinners and presenting us with small gifts wrapped in cheerful red paper.

Remembering that first call from my husband reminds me of the joy we once shared, but it also highlights my contentment with being single, even just for a moment. That evening with my sisters filled me with gratitude for my life and all the blessings I have today.

I refuse to wallow in sorrow over my husband’s belongings or indulge in tears over a pint of ice cream. Instead, I’ll embrace the day with my kids, just as I would if a romantic dinner were on the agenda. We’re treating ourselves to Chinese food, and I’ll surprise them with sweet candies wrapped in red tissue paper. I plan to treat myself to flowers and chocolates because I deserve to enjoy those little pleasures, regardless of their source.

This Valentine’s Day, I refuse to let my crumbling marriage dictate my emotions. There’s an abundance of love in the world, especially the love we give ourselves, and this year, I need to feel that more than ever.

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Summary:

As Valentine’s Day approaches, Emily Carter reflects on her marriage’s challenges but chooses to celebrate love in its many forms. Despite the looming possibility of divorce, she embraces self-love and joyful moments with her children, ensuring that the day remains special.