I have a friend named Lisa, who has been an important part of my life since our college days. We’ve celebrated significant milestones together, from weddings to welcoming new babies. Our communication has always been steady, without imposing high expectations on each other. However, over the past year, I’ve sensed our friendship drifting apart, and it’s disheartening.
After becoming a parent, Lisa’s friendship became even more meaningful to me. Despite my increased responsibilities, her support and companionship were invaluable. I learned that if you truly want someone in your life, carving out time for them is essential.
Yes, we experienced a drop in our communication. There were moments I prioritized napping over calling her, and weekend trips she suggested didn’t fit into my schedule as I didn’t want to leave my kids. She was understanding, and we managed to keep our friendship alive without feeling neglected.
Once Lisa became a mom herself, her life got busier too. While we occasionally went months without talking, we always found our way back to each other. Yet, the changes in recent months have left me feeling ignored and unappreciated. I’ve been patient and have expressed to her that I’m here, even when my texts go unanswered.
I reached out to her a few weeks ago with a call and a follow-up message, but neither received a response. Although we’ve always valued a low-effort friendship, the silence lately has created a shift in our connection. I feel upset about the direction our friendship is taking, as this trend seems to be becoming the norm. The lack of communication makes me feel unwanted, and it’s tough to navigate.
I used to be the one making all the efforts, convincing myself that she was just busy and would reach out eventually. But I’m busy too—juggling being a divorced mom, working full-time, and managing a household alone. So, when I stumbled upon a meme on Instagram about how some people will only communicate when it’s convenient for them, it hit home.
We all cherish low-maintenance friendships—the kind that pick up right where we left off, without any hard feelings. However, there’s a difference between that and letting a friendship fade to the point of feeling hurt and overlooked, which is where I find myself.
Recently, I received a message from Lisa that made me realize I’ve also neglected our connection. She simply said, “I miss us.” We had gone from weekly chats to barely touching base once a month. My attempts to reach out had become quick messages, just to check it off my list, and she deserves better.
I’ve been preoccupied with my boyfriend and the chaos of the holiday season. My excuses could fill a notebook, but I refuse to let a valuable friendship slip away. I appreciated her reminder because it highlighted how much I value her presence in my life.
That message spurred me into action. It reassured me that I’m not alone in feeling hurt about our dwindling connection. It’s natural to feel this way when there are significant gaps in communication. Life does get busy, and we all have our commitments, but few things are worth sacrificing a cherished friendship over. It’s beginning to feel like my long-time friend doesn’t share this sentiment, leading me to contemplate letting go of our friendship.
It hurts to lose a connection that once meant so much. Perhaps it won’t be lost forever—there’s always potential for rekindling a bond later, and I’m not shutting her out completely. However, I’ve reached a point where I won’t keep putting in effort that seems unreciprocated. I want to nurture friendships where the effort feels mutual.
Right now, I’m prioritizing those who miss me as much as I miss them, even if it’s challenging to find time to reconnect. The truth is, if people want to make an effort, they will. I can’t keep chasing friendships that don’t seem to be valued on the other side. Friendships, much like everything else, have their highs and lows. It’s okay to let them go when necessary; it doesn’t mean it won’t sting. Ultimately, it means I’m prioritizing my feelings, and that’s perfectly valid.
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Summary
This article reflects on the evolving dynamics of a long-time friendship that has recently felt one-sided and isolating. The author expresses feelings of neglect and frustration as communication dwindles. Despite the challenges of balancing life and relationships, the author recognizes the importance of mutual effort in friendships and considers prioritizing those that reciprocate their feelings.