When my partner and I split, he moved out of our two-bedroom apartment. Surprisingly, it was a brief separation. We reconciled just three weeks later, but he had already signed a lease for a one-bedroom unit and couldn’t return to live with me.
Unable to manage the rent on my own, I began searching for a more affordable place instead of squeezing my son and me into my ex’s new one-bedroom. I thought having a bit of space would benefit our relationship and allow me to maintain some independence.
One Sunday afternoon, while visiting my ex at his new place, I noticed the front door of the adjacent apartment was open. The building was a quaint four-unit structure with a yellow brick facade and a lovely lawn.
Stepping into the small entryway, I saw that the floors of the lower unit were being refinished. A man in his late 30s stood in the doorway, chatting with the workers inside. His name was Mark, the owner of the property, and he confirmed that the vacant unit was available. We chatted for a while about my situation—being divorced with a young child and living next door to my ex. He was friendly and answered all my questions.
Mark and I spent quite a bit of time talking that day. I learned he also had young children and owned multiple properties around town. He appeared kind and enthusiastic; I assumed he was pleased to find a potential new tenant so quickly after the last one moved out.
He handed me an application, and I filled it out and returned it to him before he finished the flooring and prepared to leave for the day. It felt like I had found the right place just in time.
Exploiting a Single Mother in Financial Distress
I moved in on the first day of the next month. The rent was $520 for the one-bedroom—slightly more than my previous place, but still a decent deal for the neighborhood.
When I met with Mark again to give him the first and last month’s deposit and receive my keys, he left his contact details for mailing my rent checks or reaching out if I had any issues. Our conversation felt normal, and nothing seemed amiss.
While I was satisfied with the new apartment, it had some drawbacks. I had given my son the bedroom for his own space and set up my bed and dresser in the breakfast nook across from the kitchen. I was relieved I didn’t have to sleep in the living room.
Of course, I worried about finances, as I was now relying on a single income for rent, bills, and food. I was already on food stamps, and making ends meet was tough despite working full-time at a daycare and part-time at a restaurant on weekends. My ex was keen to help, but his financial situation was not much better than mine.
Determined to manage my adult responsibilities, I felt fortunate to be in a safe building with a seemingly attentive property manager.
My first indication that something was off about my landlord came four weeks later when I was preparing to mail my rent. I had misplaced his address but had his phone number saved. After texting him for the address, he replied quickly with the details. Then, he sent a second message.
“I’m at the bar down the street having a drink. Want to join?”
It felt a bit odd since he was aware I had a boyfriend, but I brushed off the discomfort. I thought he’d mentioned being married, and it was still early evening; perhaps he just wanted to unwind after a long day.
“Thanks, but I can’t. I have my child tonight!” I replied, even though my son was actually with his dad. I didn’t want to create any awkwardness.
The next text from him sent shivers down my spine.
“You know, I have a deal with one of my other tenants. She and I get together from time to time. We could work something like that out.”
I stared at my phone in disbelief, genuinely confused. My automatic response to such a situation is often disbelief; I struggle to accept that someone is actually propositioning me.
Even though alarm bells rang in my mind, I asked for clarification because I thought I must have misunderstood.
“A deal? What do you mean?” I responded cautiously.
“Like, she does me a favor, and then I do her a favor with the rent. You know what I mean. :)”
He added a smiley emoji, trying to keep it light. I paced my apartment, grappling with how to respond to a sexual proposition from my landlord.
“Are you suggesting I could get free rent if I sleep with you?” I asked, my heart racing.
“You got it. No pressure, just thought I’d throw it out there. ;)”
A Proposal I Almost Considered
I took my time to respond, contemplating whether to turn off my phone and ignore his message. I thought about confronting him but then realized I had no one to report him to; he was his own boss and manager.
For a fleeting moment, I considered saying yes. What if declining his offer led to a rent increase or even eviction? I feared he could misuse his power to coerce me into compliance. He was aware of my personal circumstances—my age, my divorce, my financial struggles. He knew precisely what he was doing.
After about thirty minutes of deliberation, I finally texted back, “Nope, I’m good. Remember, I have a boyfriend!”
I tried to remain nonchalant, acting as if nothing was wrong. Thankfully, I didn’t encounter Mark often. He managed several properties, and our interactions afterward were devoid of any mention of that uncomfortable proposition. I fulfilled my lease without further incident, but the experience lingered in my mind, leaving me uneasy.
Not everyone is as fortunate. Many landlords exploit the financial difficulties faced by tenants, especially amid economic crises, pressuring women into sexual agreements for housing.
“We have seen an uptick in sexual harassment,” says Sarah Carter, a legal director at a community legal aid organization. “Landlords are taking advantage of their tenants’ financial hardships to coerce them into sex-for-rent agreements, which is absolutely illegal.”
I didn’t know where to turn when I faced this situation years ago, but there are resources available for those dealing with similar circumstances. You can reach out to local legal aid or file a complaint with the Department of Housing and Urban Development. Counseling services for sexual harassment are also accessible.
For more information on legal rights and resources, check out this excellent resource for managing infertility and housing issues and visit this authority on the topic for further insights.
Summary:
This article recounts the unsettling experience of a woman who faced an inappropriate proposition from her landlord, suggesting a sexual arrangement in exchange for reduced rent. It highlights the vulnerability of single mothers and the exploitation that can occur in landlord-tenant relationships, emphasizing the importance of knowing one’s rights and available resources.
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