As a mother living with multiple sclerosis, my experience in parenting often feels like a daily battle against fatigue and overwhelming responsibilities. I want to share my journey, focusing on the challenges of MS fatigue, the importance of self-care, and the concept of “spoons”—a metaphorical way to describe our limited energy reserves.
The National Multiple Sclerosis Society emphasizes that fatigue is one of the most prevalent and disruptive symptoms of MS, often hindering daily life at home and in the workplace. This fatigue can be particularly severe, even for those with minimal physical challenges. Beyond the typical causes of tiredness, individuals with MS experience a unique form of fatigue known as “lassitude.” This specific fatigue is characterized by:
- Occurrence on a daily basis
- Manifestation early in the morning, even after a good night’s sleep
- Deterioration as the day progresses
- Aggravation by heat and humidity
- Sudden onset
- Greater severity than standard fatigue
- Interference with daily responsibilities
These factors make raising a child, especially one on the autism spectrum, incredibly exhausting. On most weekdays, I’m left with only four or five spoons when I finally step outside. By the time evening rolls around, I’ve depleted my energy reserves, leaving me with little to give.
As a mother, running out of spoons by 5 PM is simply not an option. The evening still requires preparing dinner, tidying up, bathing my child, and managing bedtime routines. There’s also special playtime, laundry to tackle, groceries to fetch, and bills to sort out. Realistically, how can I accomplish all this when I’m completely drained?
Four Strategies for Managing Low Energy Levels
Here are four strategies I employ when my energy levels run low:
- Take a Moment to Rest: Before jumping into any chores, I allow myself a short break. I ignore the dishes piling up and put on a show for my child, giving myself 10 to 15 minutes to recharge. Sometimes, that brief pause can give me just enough energy to find another spoon.
- Delegate Tasks: Many moms, including myself, tend to be perfectionists. While my partner could help with chores, I often think they won’t do it my way. But honestly, it’s not crucial how tasks get done; what matters is getting them done. Letting go of the need for control can lighten the load.
- Borrow Energy from Tomorrow: While not the best practice, there are days when I allow myself to take it easy, knowing I’ll tackle more the next day. On busy days, I remind myself that tomorrow can consist of leftovers for dinner, and some chores can wait. This strategy helps me push through, though it sometimes leads to a crash on weekends.
- Accept Your Limits: There are days when I simply can’t do it all. On those occasions, I prioritize rest over responsibilities. I recently discussed my fatigue with my neurologist, who suggested medication and more naps. While the idea of napping seems impossible with a busy child and a full-time job, I find that short breaks can still help recharge my batteries.
Interestingly, on some days, I wake up feeling more energized—my “Good MS Days.” Those moments are precious, and I try to use that energy wisely, whether that means taking my child to the park or enjoying a date night with my partner. These experiences are important for both me and my family, especially since they support me during tougher times.
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Conclusion
In summary, my journey as a mom with multiple sclerosis is filled with challenges, particularly when it comes to managing fatigue while raising a child. However, by prioritizing self-care, delegating tasks, and recognizing my limits, I strive to balance motherhood with my health. Remember, it’s essential to take time for yourself and cherish those moments when you can muster extra energy to enjoy life fully.