When I completed my law degree, I joined a well-known law firm as an associate. The work was often monotonous, and the hours were demanding; however, I genuinely appreciated my colleagues. There was one woman, though — a prominent partner — who I found difficult to connect with. I didn’t know her well and had only a few interactions with her, yet something about her demeanor struck me as distant, unapproachable, and abrupt. She didn’t exhibit excessive warmth or emotion, and to be honest, her presence intimidated me. Despite her fairness, integrity, and politeness in every encounter, my instincts told me I shouldn’t like her.
Similarly, I felt an inexplicable aversion towards Hillary Clinton. As a Democrat, I didn’t have any political objections to her, but there was something about her that didn’t sit right with me. She came across as overly aggressive, ambitious, and somewhat unfriendly. I must admit I didn’t invest much time in exploring the legitimacy of the claims against her or her record; instead, I was influenced by media portrayals and what others said, which left me feeling uneasy. My opinion had no solid foundation, yet my instincts warned me against liking her.
Over the years, I’ve come to realize that my instincts were misguided. It wasn’t an epiphany, but rather a gradual awakening akin to getting out of bed before dawn when all you want to do is stay wrapped in your warm blankets. This realization was both slow and uncomfortable.
How could I, a liberal, open-minded, ambitious woman, fall prey to sexism? I am a woman, hear me roar, right? Surely, my dislike was justified and couldn’t be rooted in sexism. But could it?
The truth is, we’re all vulnerable to the influence of a sexist culture. None of us grew up in isolation; our environments shape us. Just as a non-smoker may smell like cigarettes after being around a smoker, we are all shaped by the sexist norms that have been entrenched in our societies for generations. Denying this reality is like pretending that there’s no odor while holding your nose.
It wasn’t until I recognized that I, too, was a product of a sexist world—one that instructs girls to be cute but not too cute, to express emotions without being labeled “dramatic,” and that consistently devalues our contributions—that I began to understand how my perceptions of women had been skewed over the years.
Born in the late 1970s, I often found myself sitting between the assertive Gen Xers and the optimistic Millennials, unable to fully appreciate the struggles faced by women who fought tirelessly for their place in society.
This gradual but profound realization altered how I perceived women like Hillary Clinton and that partner from the law firm. The issue wasn’t with them; it was with me. And it’s a collective issue we all share.
Many people express, “I just don’t like her,” but when pressed for a reason, they often stumble or repeat clichés about emails or Benghazi, despite those matters being resolved long ago. Hillary has repeatedly demonstrated her capabilities and commitment to public service. She played a crucial role in establishing the State Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP), which provides essential health coverage for children in need, and was instrumental in the Adoption and Safe Families Act as well as the Foster Care Independence Act. As a Senator, she secured $21 billion for the redevelopment of the World Trade Center site and championed health care for first responders. During her tenure as Secretary of State, she visited 112 countries, advocated for global economic engagement, initiated a Global Hunger and Food Security program, and negotiated various free trade agreements.
Yet, discussions often focus on her choice of pantsuits or her demeanor. How ridiculous is that?
In recent months, my feelings toward Hillary have shifted from mere acceptance to genuine admiration. After attending one of her recent speeches, I’m more convinced than ever that she is the right leader for our country. She has her flaws, as does everyone, and her long tenure in public service has inevitably come with scrutiny. But despite her imperfections, she is a bridge-builder, a voice for the marginalized, and an advocate for those who often go unheard. She is authentic, relatable, and inspiring. If she had a different gender or surname, I believe she would be celebrated rather than criticized. The real challenge lies not with her but with us.
We face systemic issues: sexism, idolization of celebrities, and fear masked as hatred. If we fail to confront these issues—both as individuals and as a society—we will continue to navigate through toxic environments while denying their existence.
So, if your thoughts on Hillary boil down to “I just don’t like her,” I urge you to reflect more deeply. Dig deeper into your feelings and come back with a clearer perspective.
Women—be it Hillary or any other—are often judged against impossible standards. We’re told not to be too serious for fear of being labeled “bitchy,” yet expressing emotions can lead to being deemed “overly emotional.” If we pursue professional ambitions, we face accusations of neglecting our families, but if we take time off to attend to our children, we’re considered to be on the “mommy track.”
It’s a no-win situation. And it’s misguided to think that men are solely responsible for perpetuating these sexist double standards (or that women are the only ones affected, but that’s a discussion for another time). We’re all part of this dilemma and can contribute to its resolution.
While I may still disagree with Hillary on some policy issues, she remains the most qualified candidate in this election cycle. She embodies genuine care, thoughtfulness, and competence. We don’t need to admire every facet of a president; they are not our friends or colleagues but leaders we must respect. We may not agree with everything, but we should find common ground on most issues.
I might have favored another candidate over Hillary in the past, yet she remains my top choice in this election. Perfection doesn’t exist in politics. We select candidates who align most closely with our values. Sometimes, as is the case now, we must choose the candidate who can prevent a catastrophe.
The stakes are incredibly high, and we cannot afford to hesitate in supporting her. While I didn’t vote for Hillary in 2008 or during the primaries in 2016, I’m now proud to stand with her. If you’re still hesitant about supporting Hillary, that’s not her issue, but yours. If the alternative—an unqualified candidate—takes office because you couldn’t get past your reservations, the repercussions will affect all of us for years to come.
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In summary, our perceptions of Hillary Clinton reflect broader societal challenges we must confront. By acknowledging and addressing our biases, we can make more informed choices about leadership and support one another as women navigating a complex world.