Perhaps it’s due to my upbringing with a mother who was an absolute neat freak. Or maybe being a classic, order-loving Virgo makes me particularly sensitive to mess and disorder. My husband and kids might argue that I just take pleasure in nagging them to “clean this up” or “get rid of that.” Regardless of the reason, my home is typically tidy.
However, I do have some secrets hidden away (and I might mean that in more ways than one). Even though my space appears orderly, you risk a clutter catastrophe if you dare to open any closet or drawer. My cabinets, pantry, and closets are a chaotic mess, and that’s just how it’s always been.
As a child, when my mom instructed me to tidy up my room, I would shove all my belongings into a giant pile and shove them into the closet, slamming the door shut. Just like that, my room looked clean, my mom was satisfied, and I managed to avoid being scolded. Sure, I often had to use all my strength to pry that door open later and would lose items for months under the heap, but hey, my bedroom was neat!
Fast forward several years, and here I am, still struggling with behind-the-scenes organization. It’s not quite as disastrous as my childhood closet, but it’s still embarrassingly disorganized for someone who appears to embrace the idea of “everything in its right place.” Each time I open the kitchen cabinet for pots and pans, it’s a chaotic orchestra of clattering metal. My clothes are more draped and tossed than hung neatly, and if you’re injured, good luck finding what you need in the first-aid drawer, which is filled with nearly empty or expired items.
I can’t really justify this closet chaos (pun intended). It’s probably just laziness on my part. I know that if I spent some time organizing, it wouldn’t be such a monumental task to keep it that way. But then again, I also understand that cutting out chocolate would help me achieve that dream body, yet here I am, hoarding it in my messy underwear drawer.
If I could wave a magic wand, I’d create a pantry worthy of Marie Kondo, where everything is perfectly stacked, aligned, and labeled. I’d have a wardrobe where all my clothing is pressed, hung, and color-coordinated. Oh, and I’d have someone to handle the cleaning throughout my home, so I could focus on organizing the mess behind closed doors.
But since I can’t afford a maid or a professional organizer (or discover a way to magically create more hours in the day), I’ll stick to tidying the areas that are likely to be seen by guests. Yes, it bothers me that my inner spaces aren’t as well-kept as the rest of my home — I admit I’m a bit neurotic about it — but I’m not stressed enough to make it a top priority.
I might have the same 24 hours as Beyoncé, but I don’t think she spends any of hers cleaning out closets.
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In summary, while I may keep my living areas presentable, I’m still wrestling with the untidy corners of my home. Like many, I struggle with the balance between appearance and reality, and I prioritize visible spaces over hidden chaos.