When I set out to write this, I pictured myself seated at my kitchen table, sipping a hot cup of coffee in absolute tranquility. But that’s not how it turned out. That’s the kind of curated image you might see on Instagram, not the reality. The truth is, I began drafting this at 11 a.m., frantically calling a friend to help me figure out where to start. Shortly thereafter, I found myself juggling business calls and comforting friends navigating tough life challenges—the kind that rarely make it to social media. Oh, and I also managed to change the sheets on three beds. It’s a mess.
And just to clarify: my coffee has gone cold and it’s now 1:30 p.m.
When I say “mess,” I don’t mean just needing a vacuum or a dusting—though that’s sometimes the case, as you can see in the photo above. I’m talking about the kind of chaos that feels overwhelming, the raw and unfiltered reality of life. It can feel dirty, as if we should tidy up and hide it from view. Life doesn’t always unfold as we had envisioned, and sometimes we find ourselves trudging through the muck just to get through the day. And that’s perfectly okay. Often, those challenging moments can lead us to the greatest blessings. If we change our perspective and confront the mess head-on, we can sift through it to find the silver linings.
The Lessons I’ve Learned
The most significant lesson I’ve learned as a mother? My kids won’t always behave as I wish.
The biggest revelation in my marriage? It’s not solely about me.
And the most important truth about life? We stumble, but we can always pick ourselves back up and start anew.
With hardship, often comes growth. It’s all part of the learning process, and trust me, we are not alone in this. Yet, we often feel isolated when confronted with those polished images and perfect posts online. Have you ever tried to snap the ideal selfie? It’s just as challenging as getting all your kids to smile in a family photo while ensuring the dog is looking at the camera too. So why do we expect life to go perfectly without any effort?
During the winter, I shared a post about a significant snowstorm that blanketed my town, enough to shut down many businesses and send everyone scrambling for groceries. While many were consumed by worry, few took time to appreciate the beauty of the moment. I suggested that instead of just pausing to enjoy the snowfall, what if we embraced the lessons or blessings that came with it? What if we found joy in the messy, the parts we typically shy away from?
Imagine standing in that soft snow, inhaling its crisp scent, thanking the universe for the tranquility it brought. Or perhaps we could close the doors, cozy up with our loved ones, and relish an unexpected day of just being together.
Let’s take it a step further: What if we celebrated those 19 selfies that didn’t come out perfect? What if we shared them, exposing our messy lives in their raw form? It’s a daunting thought, but it’s a reality we all experience. Why do we hide it?
I may not have a college degree in life’s complexities, nor am I a trained expert in relationships or parenting, but I have one thing: I listen. In my role within a predominantly female industry, I engage with women daily, hearing their stories about motherhood, relationships, careers, and life’s challenges. I witness their struggles and their victories, the monumental life events that threaten to knock them down.
What’s inspiring is watching these women rise again. They come back, sharing how they’re pushing through the dirtiness of life. The moment they acknowledge their mess is often the turning point that allows them to gather the pieces and pave the way for the next chapter. Don’t shy away from your mess, embrace it. You can’t have a tidy home without first experiencing a bit of chaos. If your space remains cluttered for a while while you focus on other priorities, that’s perfectly fine. Those are the moments we often don’t showcase. Ironically, we all go through similar struggles but get lost in comparing ourselves to those neatly filtered images of others’ lives. I promise you, they have their own “outtakes” hidden away too.
We all have our mess, and it evolves daily. Life isn’t polished, and it’s far from perfect. But within those imperfections, we can discover our unique version of perfection. So live it! Embrace the chaos and enjoy it. The mess isn’t as daunting as it seems; it’s merely how we choose to perceive it.
This article was originally published on April 1, 2019.