I’ll start with a little disclaimer: what follows will leave you hanging a bit. No binge-reading to the end, folks; we’ll uncover the conclusion together in time!
This summer, my two eldest children have returned home after living independently for a couple of years, and my youngest, now finished with college, is also around full-time. After experiencing a (somewhat) empty nest, I’m now back to a bustling household. Anyone else curious to see how this temporary reunion plays out?
I say “somewhat empty” because my youngest, still in high school, has always been here, although his presence is often just a faint whiff of deodorant or a trail of Taco Bell wrappers. Plus, my middle child has been in and out from his local university, so there’s been no shortage of activity (and laundry) throughout the year.
I refer to this as an “interim” situation because both adult children plan to continue their independent lives come fall. This is essentially a pit stop for them — a breather. I’m acutely aware that when our Summer of Love concludes, it could mean the end of our family of six.
While I’ve come to terms with this last hurrah, I certainly wasn’t prepared for the avalanche of “stuff” that comes with their return. Yes, I mean stuff. The endless carloads of boxes pouring through the front door have been a source of anxiety for me. With each Rubbermaid tote that enters, my spacious home feels smaller.
Nevertheless, I took a few deep breaths and decided to roll with it. I think my kids will be surprised to discover that their mom has mellowed quite a bit since their last visit.
In the past, I ran a pretty tight ship, with rules and expectations around basic courtesy. You might recall my oldest navigating high school with less technology than the Amish — he’s good at math, but I suspect it’s because he had to adapt after getting grounded and losing his calculator. I’ve always insisted on a degree of tidiness (don’t scrutinize the baseboards, though).
But with the sheer volume of belongings now scattered across my second floor — it’s like two apartments exploded in my home — my usual strictness has transformed into a more relaxed attitude. There are areas of my house that could probably be featured in a “what not to do” guide. Yet, instead of stressing over what others might think about our chaotic abode, I’ve decided to channel my inner Disney princess and let it go. Shoes, cups, cereal bowls, and wrappers? They’re rolling off my back for these few fleeting weeks.
It’s a full-on Fortnite frenzy in the family room, but while I remind myself that I can handle this, I also find myself smiling more often than not.
Strangely enough, I don’t mind the temporary chaos at all. Maybe I’m just older and a bit more fatigued? After reflecting on life’s unexpected twists, I know that time is a factor in my new outlook. Whatever the reason, I’m embracing my messy summer with my big, vibrant family and choosing to overlook the disorder.
It was pure serendipity that brought us all back under one roof; it wasn’t part of a grand plan (and, sniff, no one seems to be missing their mom). Everything just aligned with leases ending and new opportunities taking shape.
Now, my beds are full (though this complicates my chances of finding a quiet refuge when my partner is snoozing next to me), and I often find myself waking to someone sleeping with the lights on and electronics buzzing. In the past, I would have been irritated and yelled until the culprit retreated to their own space. But now, I just turn off the devices, tiptoe out, and head to work.
It’s a shift in mindset. Instead of focusing on the irritations that used to sour my days, I’m choosing to spend my summer in a state of wonder. I wonder if my kids have noticed my new chill vibe. I wonder if the older ones are collectively gasping when I head to bed before they even come home. I wonder if my mom is rolling in her grave, knowing I’ve decided not to charge my adult kids for room and board this summer. I’ve wrestled with that decision, but ultimately, it’s not about the money (though the grocery bill is daunting). I want my kids to feel that they can always come home without strings attached, especially since this might be our last summer together. Sorry, Mom, but this summer, everyone gets a financial pass.
I wonder if the ambitious plans my kids have — to relocate and embark on adventures with their partners — will pan out. I also wonder if my younger ones will eventually follow suit, leaving us in a big, echoing house. Will we find ourselves celebrating their departures, or will we chase after them?
As I navigate grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning while sidestepping clutter, I’m letting the rent, laundry, and mess slide for a little while. I’m savoring the late-night conversations among siblings; they nourish my soul. I love catching snippets of their podcasts through closed doors or while they shower. It’s fascinating to see what captures their interest.
I feel elated when everyone gathers for dinner, even if it’s just a brief 30 minutes before they scatter again. Those moments are enormous.
Now, about that cliffhanger: we’ll have to wait and see if my cheerful attitude continues into August while I’m picking up wet towels and humming about pole vaulting to the washing machine. Who knows, it might only take a few weeks before I declare that no one gets their favorite foods unless their rooms are tidy!
For now, it’s one day at a time, because every parent knows that life can change in an instant.
Summary
This summer, Mia’s home has transformed from an empty nest to a bustling hub with her adult children returning. While the chaos of their belongings and the noise may seem overwhelming, Mia is embracing the mess and cherishing the time spent together. She reflects on her parenting style and the joys of reconnecting with her kids while letting go of past frustrations. As they navigate this temporary reunion, she wonders about their futures and what lies ahead for their family dynamics.