From the very beginning of my pregnancy, it was clear that I would be having another cesarean delivery. My first experience had been an emergency surgery after a grueling 30-hour labor that left me with a barely dilated cervix and a baby who just wouldn’t budge. Thus, all subsequent pregnancies were planned for cesarean births.
This time around, my OB and a Maternal-Fetal Medicine (MFM) specialist decided that our little girl should make her entrance at 38 weeks. A couple of months earlier, I had been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Despite making significant dietary changes and becoming insulin-dependent, my blood sugar levels remained high, and an ultrasound indicated concerning fluid levels around the baby.
Even with a challenging pregnancy, my husband and I felt more prepared and optimistic than ever before. By the time you reach your fourth child, it begins to feel like a well-oiled routine. We stocked up on diapers, formula, and baby essentials well in advance. In the weeks leading up to the big day, my focus was on nesting, which primarily meant preparing my three older kids, my husband, and our kitchen, rather than setting up a new nursery. I understood that recovery from a C-section wouldn’t be easy, so I wanted to ensure that my older kiddos knew what to expect and that our kitchen was fully stocked to help my husband take over cooking duties for a while.
My husband also prepared in his own way, thinking of everything I might overlook. He ordered a plethora of clothes and baby gear, ensuring that I, along with our kids, would be taken care of. To say he kept many Amazon drivers busy would be an understatement!
The surgery was scheduled for the day after my eldest son’s 9th birthday. He insisted it sounded cool, but I was determined to make sure his special day wasn’t overshadowed by the arrival of his baby sister. Perhaps it was my hormones speaking, but I worried that the closeness in their birthdays could lead to resentment down the line.
In the week leading up to his birthday, I planned an elaborate surprise after school. I transformed our entire kitchen into the Upside Down for an early Stranger Things-themed party. I don’t regret it for a moment, even if my back would have preferred a quieter approach.
The Hardest Part
The hardest part of having my fourth C-section? The guilt I felt about my family. I know my emotions may have been heightened by hormones, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of maternal instinct urging me to “GET UP AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS!” even when I was exhausted and sore.
I felt similarly towards my husband. He has been incredibly supportive since our daughter’s birth, but his willingness to pick up the slack means he’s been sidelining his own needs. He swears he wouldn’t have it any other way, but I still feel immense guilt. I want to help and resume my usual routine, yet my body is simply not ready.
Recovery Challenges
Recovery from a C-section can vary greatly from person to person, taking anywhere from two to six weeks to start feeling like yourself again, even if physical pain subsides. Given that this was my fourth surgery, I braced myself for additional discomfort. I hadn’t forgotten the dual sensations of aching and burning from the incision pain. I feared that with scar tissue being cut through once more, the discomfort would be magnified.
And yes, the pain returned, likely even worse than before. But strangely, the recovery process felt smoother than ever. How could that be?
Managing Pain
The easiest part of my fourth C-section was managing my pain. I’m not trying to gloss over the reality of recovering from major surgery; it absolutely hurt! My abdomen was sore, and every sneeze felt like a threat to my uterus. However, I’ve learned a few key lessons over the years:
- Take the medication.
- Move your body.
- Don’t hesitate to ask for help.
These simple strategies took me a decade to fully accept. The medications provided in the hospital might constipate you, but being able to lift my baby without tears is a significant win in my book. I’ve learned it’s okay to acknowledge that I’m not okay and to take the medicine.
Walking after a cesarean is undoubtedly one of the most challenging moments in recovery. However, delaying movement only prolongs healing. Plus, it helps alleviate gas pains and constipation.
Asking for help is perhaps the most crucial piece of advice I can offer. As a mom, I used to think, “I’m the mom; I can handle it,” when, in reality, I couldn’t. My partner is helpful, but he can’t read my mind. I’ve been asking my oldest to carry laundry baskets, my mom to help me reach high shelves, and my husband when I need more rest.
Family Support
I’m happy to say that we’re navigating this recovery much more smoothly than I anticipated. Of course, there are still moments when my belly’s tenderness makes it hard to stand for long or climb stairs. My husband and kids have their moments of exhaustion from taking on extra chores, too. Yet, as our family of six adjusts, I see each of us adopting new, supportive behaviors that fill me with pride.
Though my doctor has advised against having more children (and yes, we’re taking that advice!), we’re managing this recovery beautifully as a family. This experience has been both the easiest and hardest C-section story I’ve lived.
For more insights on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this other blog post.
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In summary, my fourth C-section was a unique blend of challenges and ease. While the physical recovery was tough, the emotional journey and the support from my family made it an experience to cherish.