Last year, my sister shared a photo on social media showcasing the impressive array of Christmas gifts from our families under her tree—and spilling into the family room. She tagged me in the post, and the reactions were swift: multiple “wows,” a “geez,” and even a “holy cow!”
I totally get the astonishment. In fact, even we were taken aback, thinking, “Did the presents multiply overnight?” Yet, amidst the amazement, I felt a tinge of judgment creeping in. I wanted to clarify that those gifts were for nine people, and many were hand-me-downs from my sister’s older kids to my little one, wrapped just for the fun of it. But my explanations felt weak, leaving me feeling somewhat embarrassed about what seemed like an extravagant display of gifts.
This year, I promised myself I would exercise restraint.
That was the plan back in October. Fast forward to mid-December, and diving into my closet feels like a scene from Entrapment—minus the alluring outfit. I’ve been scouring the kids’ wish lists, contemplating returning some items. (Yes, I even made an Excel spreadsheet. Go ahead, judge me!) But as I sift through the options, I can’t bring myself to return anything! I know my children will cherish each doll, Lego set, and science kit. They are truly grateful kids.
Recently, I expressed my concerns to my husband about being materialistic. He reminded me that we’re not really materialistic at all. The truth is, the only time we truly “spoil” our kids is during Christmas. We rarely buy toys impulsively throughout the year, and for birthdays, they either receive a few gifts or none at all in favor of a family outing. My husband also emphasized that we actively teach our kids the true essence of Christmas: love, charity, gratitude, and family. We engage in discussions about the various lifestyles around the world, emphasizing our good fortune and the importance of generosity. We donate both money and items to charity and prioritize family time, not just during the holidays but throughout the year.
He cherishes the idea that our kids will have fond memories of chaotic Christmas mornings filled with wrapping paper and excitement, and I share that sentiment. I fondly recall the exhilarating Christmases of my youth, characterized by the thrill of unwrapping gifts, the joyful screams, and the magical belief in Santa Claus. Those memories are treasured, and they form some of the highlights of my childhood.
So why can’t I shake off the guilt surrounding the pile of gifts in my closet?
If I’m honest, I’d have no guilt if no one knew about that mountain of toys. My feelings of guilt stem not from my own beliefs about Christmas or materialism, but rather from the weight of societal judgment.
Social media is filled with parents asserting they restrict their children to a mere three gifts or even forgoing presents entirely. Many criticize those who opt to give their kids a plethora of toys, calling them out for fostering materialism or even labeling them as bad parents.
But here’s the truth: how families choose to celebrate Christmas—or any holiday—is their own business. It’s not fair to judge someone’s parenting based on a single snapshot from one day of the year. My family, along with others who embrace a more extravagant approach to Christmas, is not celebrating “wrong.” We simply have a tradition of grand Christmas celebrations, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a mountain of gifts to wrap.
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In summary, my family’s approach to Christmas is all about creating joyful memories and embracing the spirit of giving, without letting societal pressures dictate our celebrations.