By: Sarah Montgomery
Updated: June 4, 2021
The other day, while I was changing, my daughter walked in on me. This happens quite often, but this time she was curious. “Why does your belly look like that? It’s round and has marks on it. Do they hurt?” Initially, I felt a bit disheartened that she had noticed my differences. I had hoped to postpone this conversation. I explained that my body has changed because I became a mom and gave birth. But that wasn’t enough for her; she wanted to understand the stretch marks better. So, we talked about how bellies grow as babies develop inside them and that stretch marks are normal, even for those who haven’t given birth.
Then, she said something that took me by surprise: “I hope my belly looks like that one day. I want to have babies too.” Here I am, wishing to look different, yet she admires my belly. She doesn’t see the flaws I see; to her, I’m just mom, and she wants to be like me.
Children perceive our world through a different lens. They don’t judge friendships based on race, skin color, or sexuality; they simply see their friends. They remain oblivious to religion, politics, or any divisive issues. Their conversations revolve around happiness and laughter. A child doesn’t categorize a body as thin or fat; they see someone they love. As a parent, it’s crucial that I instill values in my children. They will model my behavior, so I must show them the importance of treating themselves and others with dignity and respect—starting with myself.
If I claimed to love my stretch marks, I would be untruthful. I’m not particularly fond of dimples, skin flaps, or fine lines and wrinkles either. I often find myself mourning the loss of my youthful body. However, the changes I’ve experienced are not from neglect or self-loathing; they are a reflection of something truly beautiful.
Creating life within our bodies is a miracle, yet how often do we express gratitude for our bodies? I know I don’t do it often enough. We should appreciate those bellies we think are too jiggly and stretched out; they are where our babies developed, preparing to enter this world. Our legs have supported us even when exhaustion set in. Our arms have offered comfort, and our hands have cleaned up the messes of childhood.
It’s essential to remind ourselves to be thankful for all that we are and what our bodies have achieved. It may sound straightforward, but we know it’s easier to criticize than to acknowledge our greatness. And we are great. Our bodies are strong. They have made us mothers and enabled us to nurture another human being. While we may not look the same post-motherhood, we must never undervalue our bodies and their contributions.
My daughter is still so young, unaware of what the future holds. She may want to be a mom someday, as I can see her nurturing nature with her favorite doll, Emily. She cares for that doll like a mother would, and I hope one day she experiences that profound love. When that time comes, I want her to appreciate her body for bringing her to that moment. I want her to love herself just as she is, without yearning for a different appearance. To achieve this, I must lead by example.
I want her to understand that I do value my body for the miracles it has brought into my life. I’m grateful for hips that have widened to bear a child and for breasts that have nourished four little ones. My stretch marks are memories of my pregnancies—a time filled with excitement and wonder. The fine lines on my face reflect not just worry but countless smiles that motherhood has given me. My body has served me well, and while it may not be perfect, it has done its job beautifully.
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