Recently, while catching up with an old acquaintance, she paused mid-conversation and remarked, “Wow, she just doesn’t know when to be quiet, does she?”
I sighed. Here we go again.
This isn’t an isolated incident; I’ve faced this kind of comment multiple times throughout my daughter Mia’s early years. “Does she ever settle down?” “Does she ever stop talking?” and my personal favorite, “She’s so loud!” But let’s be clear—Mia is just 3 years old. At this age, kids are naturally lively, curious, and yes, chatty.
Especially when I’m on the phone, her excitement to engage can be heightened—she craves my attention, and that’s perfectly fine. While I sometimes wish for a moment of peace to have a clear conversation or to simply relax, I refuse to do so at the expense of Mia’s vibrant spirit.
The truth is, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being expressive. There’s nothing wrong with enthusiasm or a child’s desire to explore the world around them. Mia’s chattiness is a reflection of her personality—one that should be celebrated, not stifled.
Of course, I guide her on appropriate behavior; I don’t permit her to interrupt others or make excessive noise in quiet places. But the idea of her “being quiet” simply because I’m busy? That’s a hard pass. I firmly believe that telling a child to “shut up” is not just rude, it carries deeper consequences. It can lead a child to feel like a nuisance, inhibiting their ability to express themselves, much like I experienced growing up.
I had a loving family, a supportive environment, yet I quickly learned that my exuberance was often perceived as “too much.” I was told to calm down, settle down, and be more subdued. Over time, societal expectations silenced me, molding me into a version of myself that felt acceptable.
But here’s the important truth: I didn’t need to mute myself, and neither does my daughter. You too, dear reader, should never feel the need to hold back. Your voice matters, your thoughts are significant, and even the most whimsical tales—like Mia’s epic story of Darth Vader and Cinderella riding a chicken—are worth sharing.
To you, to my past self, and to Mia, I say: Be fearless and unapologetic. Speak loudly and proudly, because you are not annoying or bothersome. Your expressions are valid, and you are perfect just the way you are.
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In summary, let’s encourage our children to be themselves. Their voices are their power, and it’s crucial that we never diminish that light.