As a single mother, one of the most important aspects of my life has been the community I’ve cultivated around myself and my child — our support network. In the early days when my child was an infant, I primarily connected with other stay-at-home moms at playgroups and local parks. While they were wonderful, I soon realized that our experiences were quite different. They couldn’t fully grasp the challenges I faced doing everything alone, which left me feeling somewhat resentful. They were happily married, while I was navigating the aftermath of a lengthy relationship that had ended. I realized I needed friends who were single moms, ones who could relate to my journey in ways my married friends simply couldn’t.
As my child grew, I found solace in my long-time friends who had stood by me through various life stages, both before and after motherhood. They understood my struggles, listened to my rants about my ex-partner, and welcomed my child to our gatherings without any judgment. This made it easier for me to unwind and engage in self-care, knowing I could bring my child along whenever I needed to.
One of my closest friends, Emma, has a child the same age as mine and lives just around the corner. She has always been there for me, listening to my grievances and validating my feelings. Although she doesn’t completely understand the single mom experience, our bond remained strong. Recently, she disclosed that she and her husband were contemplating separation. While I felt a genuine sadness for her and her child, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of hope that we could support each other as single mothers if it came to that.
Now, our lives feel reminiscent of our single days, albeit with a toddler twist — instead of binge-watching romance shows, we find ourselves glued to children’s programs like Bubble Guppies. With her living nearby, we can grab a quick drink to escape the chaos of parenting for a bit. This connection is essential, especially since solo parenting can often feel lonely and isolating.
Since we know each other so well, we also have a good understanding of each other’s exes. When they behave poorly, we take on the role of “petty police,” and while it may be immature, it brings us both some comic relief. Emma often leaves cheeky comments on my ex’s social media, and I throw in witty remarks about her ex when he’s around. We always have each other’s backs, and it feels great to have that support.
Emma has been encouraging me to start dating again, despite my insistence that I’m not ready for that chapter yet. Living with my parents and my child adds another layer of complexity. Meanwhile, she’s ventured back into the dating world — and I find myself living vicariously through her experiences, including her struggles with flirting. It’s a bit nostalgic to step back into the roles we played before kids.
On a more serious note, I’ve been there for Emma during hard times. Divorce is tough, and I offer my shoulder when she needs to vent. I make myself available to entertain her kids while she takes a much-needed break or prepares for a job interview. Our mutual support has become even more crucial as we navigate this single-parenting journey together.
I’m not trying to romanticize single parenthood; it’s incredibly challenging. More often than not, it can be isolating and lonely. Building a group of people who not only understand but also support you is vital for mental well-being. I consider myself fortunate to have found friends who truly get it.
Additionally, I’ve discovered a fantastic support group on Facebook, where I’ve formed lasting connections with others who share similar experiences. There’s something comforting about being around people who have faced similar struggles. When I’m at my wits’ end and need encouragement, having someone who understands is invaluable.
My tribe shows up for me consistently, providing love and support that feels refreshing. They are the family I’ve chosen, and I am incredibly grateful for their presence in my life. As I always say, “We single moms have to stick together,” and that’s exactly what we’re doing.
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In summary, my community of single mom friends has become my lifeline, providing the essential support and understanding that I need as we navigate the complexities of parenting together.