Last week, my son Max casually remarked, “Mom, it seems like Lily is your favorite.” I felt a pang of guilt, but honestly, he wasn’t entirely off the mark. What he missed—because he was too busy scrolling through his gaming app—was how quickly Lily jumped up to help me when I lugged in multiple grocery bags. I didn’t have to say a word; she just sprang into action, while he remained in the car, fixated on his score rather than on my struggle.
The very next day, however, my younger daughter, Emma, chimed in, “Mom, Max and I never get as many nice things as Lily does. You spoil her!” What he didn’t realize is that Lily pitches in around the house. She cleans the bathrooms (which are often a disaster thanks to him), takes care of the neighbor’s dogs, and even massages my feet for extra cash to fuel her fashion obsession. He would notice her contributions if he wasn’t hiding away in his room, oblivious to the family chaos.
To our kids, it probably appears that I have a favorite, and I must admit something that might be a little controversial: they’re not wrong. The “favorite” can change frequently—sometimes even within the hour.
All three of my kids have held the title of “favorite” at various moments. I don’t announce it; I don’t walk into a room and declare, “Hey, my eldest is currently number one, so enjoy ice cream on the couch while your siblings do chores.” It’s more subtle than that.
Of course, I love them all equally, but there are days when I feel a stronger connection to one child over the others. Perhaps it’s because one child is driving me up the wall with their constant need to tattle after I’ve sent them outside for some fresh air.
Maybe one of them is in a particularly adorable phase, captivating my heart with their sweet antics. Meanwhile, the other is being a drama queen about everything from their toenails to the overly chocolatey brownie I made. It’s only natural to have fluctuating feelings, right?
We’ve all experienced it, whether we admit it or not. We all have our favorites at times. We don’t usually act on those feelings, but they exist, and that’s okay. Different stages of our children’s lives elicit different reactions from us. Sometimes they test our patience, and other times they teach us something profound. There are also moments when one child can simply drive us to the brink of insanity.
As I write this, my oldest is whipping up some nachos for me—my absolute weakness. I’d love to say it’s out of sheer kindness, but deep down, I know he’s angling for a night out biking with his buddies instead of spending time at the beach with the family. He knows nachos will win me over. So, while I see through his little manipulation game, I also don’t care, because nachos.
Let them think I’m playing favorites; I know it all balances out in the end. Tomorrow, Max might annoy me with his mouthy attitude while Emma surprises me by cleaning her room without being asked, and the dynamic will shift yet again.
Besides, as I tend to take on the role of the disciplinarian around here, I’m quite certain their dad is their ultimate favorite. Any guilt I might feel about this is gone.
And you know what? I’m perfectly okay with that, especially as long as my wonderful kids keep making me delicious Mexican food, helping with groceries, and giving me foot rubs.
If you’re interested in navigating the journey of parenthood or home insemination, check out our other posts about artificial insemination kits or visit this resource for more information on pregnancy and home insemination. And if you want to know what to expect after insemination, see this guide on symptoms to watch for.
In summary, navigating parenthood is a balancing act of love and favoritism, where connections can shift based on daily interactions. It’s a wild ride, but ultimately, it’s all part of the beautiful chaos of family life.