Nearly thirteen years ago, my husband and I formed a multiracial family when we welcomed our first child into our lives. Our daughter, a Black baby girl, was chosen for us by her birth mother. From that moment, we became accustomed to drawing attention wherever we went. Two years later, we adopted another Black daughter, followed by a Black son two years after that. Yes, we had three kids under four! With this new family dynamic came stares, comments, compliments, and unfortunately, some unkind remarks.
As white parents, we prepared as best we could for adoption, but it wasn’t until our family grew multiracial that we truly recognized the pervasive white-centric nature of society. I began to view everything through a lens of racial diversity. I quickly learned that if I wanted my children to grow up feeling confident and proud of their Black identity, we couldn’t depend on the educational system to provide that foundation.
From the start, we observed a significant lack of representation for our children. The preschools we visited had either one or no Black dolls and only a single book on Dr. King. Store shelves showcased a single racially ambiguous doll while white toys dominated the display. Clothing featuring cartoon characters was predominantly white, and the few books that addressed Black individuals often centered around themes of struggle, like slavery and Civil Rights.
In those early days, we did our utmost to provide our children with resources that reflected their identity and educated them about Black history. We filled our home with diverse books, toys, art, and music. We found mentors and expanded our social circle, sought out a Black hair stylist, and switched to a majority-Black church. We celebrated Juneteenth and decorated our home with Black Santa Christmas décor, striving to create an environment that represented our diverse family.
Today, the treatment of Black history is still often viewed as an optional add-on rather than a fundamental part of education. It is critical to remember that separate isn’t equal; ignoring the full scope of history in favor of a white-centric narrative harms all students. My kids deserve to see themselves represented in their studies, but so do their white classmates. Shielding children from the truth only perpetuates systemic issues and harms future generations, who will become adults in positions of power.
Only relegating Black history lessons to February, the shortest month of the year, is not sufficient for anyone. There’s so much to learn—and even more to unlearn. None of us are exempt from the influences of supremacy.
I am grateful that I haven’t relied on public schools to educate my children about race. Thirteen years into our journey as a family, I remain unimpressed. While there have been positive strides, many of these changes are merely surface-level.
I appreciate the progress made through activism and awareness, such as the abolition of discriminatory dress code policies, the recognition of Juneteenth as a national holiday, and the ongoing discussions about Critical Race Theory. However, the road ahead is long, and parents cannot afford to wait for others to catch up.
In our home, we read books, watch documentaries, listen to music and podcasts, and engage in meaningful discussions. My children are learning the history behind Juneteenth, the story of Black Wall Street, the concepts of code-switching and white fragility, and the contributions of remarkable Black inventors. They’ve discovered that Memorial Day was originally Decoration Day, created by Black soldiers to honor their fallen comrades.
While I support Critical Race Theory and a broader curriculum that includes the real history I missed out on as a child, I refuse to wait for politicians to make these lessons mandatory. Progress is slow, and time is precious.
Moreover, I have reservations about relying solely on white educators to teach my kids accurate history. Many teachers, despite their dedication and hard work, have been shaped by the same systems that often limit discussions of race. We must advocate for racial equity without waiting for others to catch up with our children’s needs. Parents are their children’s first educators, and it is our responsibility to learn alongside them. Mistakes will happen, and that’s acceptable. However, I would prefer to stumble forward than to sit idly by while the education system decides if and when my children’s race matters.
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Summary
In a multiracial family, parents must take the initiative to teach their children about Black history and identity, as the education system often fails to provide accurate representation. It’s crucial for all children to learn about Black history year-round, not just during designated months. While some progress has been made, it is insufficient, and parents need to actively engage in their children’s education about race and history.