About a year ago, my nine-year-old son came down one morning, clutching his Tooth Fairy money, and declared that he knew I was behind the Tooth Fairy myth because he had pretended to be asleep the night before. “I caught you, Mom! I had a hunch it was you who left that money under my pillow, so I stayed awake to find out the truth.”
The night before, I had tucked him in and, when he asked about the Tooth Fairy, I told him she was real. In truth, I was losing my enthusiasm for maintaining these illusions. Younger kids are easier to enchant, but as they grow, the magic becomes more challenging to uphold.
I knew I had slipped in a bit too early to place the money under his pillow. Exhaustion was setting in, and I had been ready for bed myself. When I peeked into his room and saw his adorable face in the moonlight, I thought he was sound asleep. I hastily left the money and returned to my own bed, contemplating how tiring this whole ruse had become. For over a decade, I had tried to impress my kids with grand gestures each holiday season. Once, the Tooth Fairy even left a full coin collection for my oldest son. I realized that this exhaustion had been self-imposed, and it was time to move on.
When my son made his revelation, I felt like dancing on the kitchen counter in my bathrobe. I wasn’t sad at all; in fact, I was relieved. I was done with this elaborate charade! It felt freeing to cast aside the pressure of trying to top myself each year and say goodbye to the unrealistic fairy tales that had become too much to handle. And those Pinterest boards showcasing magical holiday surprises? They could take a hike! The truth was out, and I was worn out from the effort — it felt as though I could burst from the stress.
It was clear I needed to come clean about the other mythical characters as well, and to my surprise, my kids didn’t seem to mind. They had likely known for some time that it was all make-believe and had been playing along to keep me happy. As much as I wanted to create a whimsical childhood for them, I realized I had already done so, and I could be done with it now. If they were old enough to stay up and question the existence of the Tooth Fairy, they were also ready to hear the truth about everything else.
As they grew wiser, maintaining the illusion of the elf on the shelf or disguising my handwriting for Santa letters became increasingly difficult. Our understanding of magic shifts as we age, and my children were no exception. Now, they are at an age where they grasp the magic of giving rather than just receiving.
Just the other night, my daughter lost a tooth and asked her dad if he would put money under her pillow. He said he wouldn’t, but the Tooth Fairy might. She responded, knowing the truth, “I know the Tooth Fairy isn’t real, but I still want my money.” Instead of slipping money under her pillow, we simply handed her a few bucks, and she graciously thanked us. It was an honest exchange, with no sneaky tricks involved. The days of deceiving my children with tales of fantasy are over, and that feels surprisingly magical.
Recently, while enjoying some not-so-great fast food, we reminisced about the elaborate ruses I had employed to spark their imaginations. They were eager to know my secrets about hiding the elf and the special Santa wrapping paper. It was delightful to share my tricks with them.
However, as I was spilling my secrets, I noticed two wide-eyed toddlers at a nearby table, intently listening to our conversation. I quickly halted, shooting an apologetic look to their mother, who reassured me, “Don’t worry about it; I don’t think they understand. Honestly, I can’t wait for this phase to come for my kids. Tell me I don’t have to face it until they’re as old as yours!”
So, when the time comes to break the news to your kids about Santa, the Easter Bunny, or any other mythical figure (if it hasn’t happened already), remember to keep those discussions private. It’s best to avoid sharing those revelations in public, no matter how liberating it feels.
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In summary, the transition from childhood fantasies to the reality of growing up has been liberating for both me and my kids. I’ve come to realize that it’s okay to let go of the magic, and embrace the honesty that comes with their maturity.