There’s a certain truth that I’ve come to realize—my kids and I are essentially vampires. And no, we don’t sparkle; instead, we possess the kind of pale skin that resembles that of cave dwellers who haven’t seen sunlight in centuries.
My ancestry traces back to Eastern Europe, near the Tatra Mountains, while my partner, Alex, hails from England and Scotland. Our lineage is decidedly fair-skinned. I once participated in a “who’s the palest” contest in college, which concluded with my Irish boyfriend and me. His complexion was a mix of freckles and creamy skin, but I emerged victorious by unanimous decision. Alex, on the other hand, is notorious for his odd tan lines—those awkward stripes where his shirt sleeves meet his wrists or where his sunglasses rest on his nose.
Naturally, my children were destined to be pale. They emerged from the womb looking like bright red sausages and kept that hue throughout their newborn phase. By the time they reached six months old, they had transitioned to their true complexion just as summer kicked in, which sent me into a shopping frenzy. In those days, the only brand that offered sun protection wear was Mini Boden, so I stocked up on their rash guards and pants. My kids ended up dressed more thoroughly for the beach than for church.
As they grew, I accumulated an impressive collection of Mini Boden swimwear that got passed down from brother to brother. My youngest two still sport them now and then. Over time, I’ve become more relaxed about their swim attire. Since my eldest tends to kneel while kayaking, I allow him to wear regular swim shorts—albeit always accompanied by a long-sleeve rash guard, even in the sweltering South Carolina heat. For us, swimming often means layering on more clothing than stripping down.
My little ones were also born with barely any hair, taking a full year to sprout some locks. This meant I was constantly applying sunscreen to their bald heads or ensuring they wore hats. I always worried about missing an ear! So, while they were mostly content playing on the shore rather than splashing in the waves, they donned hats—just not the typical baby bucket hats, which were too warm. Instead, I found cute straw fedoras at Target and insisted they wear those. Once I saw how adorable they looked, there was no turning back. I implemented a rule: hats were mandatory, or they were stuck inside. Thus began our extensive collection of hats, from gray to straw to blue dinosaur prints. Baseball caps didn’t count as they didn’t protect their necks. Eventually, my kids accepted their headgear, despite my oldest’s constant complaints about itching. People often remark how adorable my 3-year-old looks in his fedora, not realizing he wears it to avoid being banished inside.
And still, my sun protection routine doesn’t stop with hats. I have to slather sunscreen on every inch of them—arms, legs, and especially those delicate feet. I dread the thought of them getting painful sandal marks. We make sure to apply sunscreen at least 20 minutes before heading outside, a step many parents skip. I know it makes me come off as the overly cautious, pale, helicopter mom, but I don’t mind. We choose fragrance-free, paraben-free products marketed for babies, despite their steep prices. I feel better using the more natural options, and we opt for SPF 60+ because it eases my anxious mind.
Once I’m done with the kids, it’s my turn. I rely on my face moisturizer and makeup to keep my skin safe from the sun, but I always wear a long-sleeved cover-up. My bathing suit typically includes a rash guard, and I ensure to apply sunscreen down to my bikini line and between my toes. You’ve never felt pain until you’ve had your sandal straps burn into your skin! Last summer, I managed to escape with only one tan line—on the back of my neck. This year I’m determined to maintain my pale complexion throughout.
I sometimes wish I could tan; I find it aesthetically pleasing, even if it highlights my stretch marks. However, my father has had more melanoma removed than I can count, and my father-in-law is in a similar boat. Both spent far too much time in the sun without protection. It’s in our genes, and I don’t want my kids to face the same fate. I refuse to be lazy about sunscreening them, and because of that, they’ve never suffered a sunburn. As long as I’m vigilant about finding shade, they’ll remain safe.
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In summary, my family embraces our vampire-like traits, with our pale skin serving as a reminder of the importance of sun protection. From hats to sunscreen, I’m determined to keep my kids safe from harmful rays—after all, prevention is key, especially with a family history of skin issues.