At almost 6 years old, my son, Finn, hasn’t mastered all his letters yet. Some family members are worried about his progress, especially since my oldest child was an early reader. They seem to think he’s lacking or that I’m not giving him enough attention. If we weren’t homeschooling, Finn would start kindergarten without a solid grasp of the alphabet or its sounds, which would already label him as “behind” before the school year even began.
But that’s simply not true. My 5-year-old is not a struggling reader; he’s a typical child at this age. Our expectations have become unrealistic, and while this trend has been developing for years, the No Child Left Behind Act, introduced during George W. Bush’s presidency, significantly shifted kindergarten’s focus toward early academic achievement. According to a report from New York Magazine, by 2010, teachers were about a third more likely than in 1998 to believe that children should know how to hold a pencil and recognize the alphabet before entering kindergarten. I remember learning the alphabet through fun songs in my own kindergarten class during the 1980s, but today, if a child isn’t well-versed in the alphabet and beginning to read by kindergarten, they are often seen as falling behind.
This American approach is in stark contrast to educational philosophies in other countries. For instance, in Finland, kindergarten is more about play than academics. In fact, 80% of Finnish teachers believed that children should not be expected to learn to read until they were six years old. They focus on “learning with joy,” a principle embedded in their curriculum. Finnish kids often leave kindergarten, at an age when American children are finishing first grade, still looking at picture books. Yet, Finland consistently ranks high in international assessments, and the country boasts a literacy rate of 94%, compared to the 14% of Americans who struggle with reading.
Experts like Nancy Carlsson-Paige, a professor emeritus of early childhood education, emphasize that there’s no solid evidence that teaching children to read in kindergarten leads to long-term advantages. Research shows that children who start reading at age 7 can develop equivalent skills to those who begin at age 5 by around age 11. However, American children in 2010 were 15% more likely to engage with reading workbooks by age 5 than their peers did in 1998.
As noted by professor Bev Brenna, there is no single age at which all children should be expected to read. One homeschooling parent shared that her son struggled at age 7 but taught himself to read fluently by age 9, while another child of hers was just starting to read at 8. She often hears of similarly aged homeschooled kids learning to read later yet succeeding in high school and beyond.
A close friend of mine was unschooled, allowing him to explore his interests at his own pace. He and his siblings decided to tackle reading at age 10, and with a little help, they succeeded. Today, he holds a graduate degree and works as a field biologist.
So, when I see Finn not reading yet, I won’t label him as slow, deficient, or unmotivated. He’s simply not ready for this step. We’re using “Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons,” a method I previously used with my older child. It can be challenging, and Finn often gets distracted, yet he tells his dad how excited he is to read like his brother one day. Right now, he can’t identify certain letters or spell his name, but I refuse to see him as behind.
It’s tough when other parents brag about their kids’ reading abilities, but I remind myself of Finland’s educational approach and the success stories of friends. I ask Finn if he’d like to practice letters with glue or PlayDoh, and we keep at it. He’s exactly where he needs to be, and if he doesn’t meet American reading expectations, that’s perfectly fine.
I would much rather foster an engaged, motivated, and joyful learner than push for early reading skills. Finn will thrive if I let him develop at his own pace while encouraging play and incorporating some early literacy activities.
In short, my child is not behind at all—he’s right on track for his own journey.
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