It’s often frowned upon to openly declare that you share a friendship with your child. The prevailing belief is that a parent must prioritize their role as a guardian over that of a friend. However, I’m here to say that I defy that expectation. My daughter and I are best buddies, and I’m still very much her mom. I firmly believe that one can wear both hats successfully. Being a friend doesn’t equate to being a pushover, and I am certainly no pushover.
My daughter, who is still quite young, frequently tells me that I am her best friend. There’s truly no greater joy than when she hugs me tightly and says, “You’re my best friend, Mommy.” It warms my heart. Naturally, I reciprocate by telling her she’s my best friend too—and I genuinely mean it.
She understands that I have friendships with adults, just as she has her own circle of friends. It’s crucial to establish that distinction. Just because I hold my child in such high regard doesn’t diminish my adult relationships. I would never burden her with my adult issues; that would be unfair and place undue stress on her. However, since we spend so much time together, it’s natural for us to develop a close bond. Our days are filled with activities like watching cartoons or engaging in train play and coloring sessions. While I prepare dinner, she often joins me in the kitchen to chat and keep me company.
Open Communication
One of the most important aspects of our relationship is the open communication we share. She knows she can approach me with anything on her mind. If something is bothering her, I provide her with the space to express herself. If there’s a way for me to help solve her problem, I will. I’ve always created a safe environment where she can be honest about her mistakes. However, she also knows that actions have consequences. I’ve made it clear that if she misbehaves, there will be repercussions. I’m not afraid to discipline her when necessary. We can enjoy fun moments together, but when I say it’s time to stop, it means just that. Being the primary disciplinarian doesn’t diminish the closeness we share.
Many people often attribute a child’s problematic behavior to parents who try to be more of a friend than a parent. The issue isn’t about how a child views you but rather how engaged you are as a parent. Being my daughter’s friend doesn’t imply that I’m neglectful; it shows my commitment to fostering a relationship where she feels secure and confident enough to talk about anything. Just like any friends, we occasionally get on each other’s nerves. When this happens, we take a moment apart to cool off because, let’s face it, there’s only so much of a toddler’s tantrum one can handle before reaching their limit.
Maintaining Trust
Unlike typical friendships, I won’t abandon her if she does or says something that frustrates me. Sure, I might get upset, but I remain her safe haven. Maintaining her trust is essential to me, so I can continue being that reliable space for her as she grows.
As children grow older, it becomes increasingly challenging to keep that bond strong. Many parents try to insert themselves into their children’s lives to stay relevant, but I want to avoid being that type of parent. I hope that as my daughter matures, she’ll recognize the balance I strive for—providing her the freedom to grow while ensuring she has the structure needed to stay safe. Only time will reveal how that unfolds, but for now, I cherish being her best friend.
Additional Resources
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Conclusion
In summary, it’s entirely feasible to be both a loving parent and a child’s best friend. Striking that balance means open communication, establishing boundaries, and maintaining trust. As my child grows, I hope to nurture our bond while allowing her the space to develop her independence.