On a crisp November morning, I knelt down to inspect my well-worn sneakers and jeans that were just a tad too short. As I ran my tongue over my braces, I glanced to my left, sizing up my competition. It was the day of our school’s annual Turkey Trot Run, and as a fifth-grader, I was finally ready to compete. I can still picture the boy who sat next to me throughout elementary school, squinting at me as he declared, “I’m going to beat you.”
As we awaited the starting signal, nerves danced in my stomach. Rounding the final corner of the race, I realized I wasn’t just going to win the girls’ division; I was about to cross the finish line first overall. As I glided across the finish line, the cheers of my friends filled the air. I was ecstatic to have accomplished something significant. To top it off, I won a frozen turkey and made it into the local newspaper. That memory still brings a smile to my face, even after all these years.
Now that I’m a parent myself, I often reflect on that day, especially during the school awards season. In today’s world, it seems parents are overly focused on their children receiving accolades, leading to some rather unpleasant behavior when a child doesn’t come out on top. Back when I won my race, the other kids didn’t grumble about not winning a turkey. Parents didn’t whisper behind my back, claiming their child deserved the win more than I did. We raced, some won prizes, and we all moved on.
So when did we start shaming kids for achieving awards?
Recently, my child’s middle school hosted an academic awards ceremony, and only select students received invitations based on their achievements and character. As soon as those invitations landed in mailboxes, the reactions from parents whose children were not invited were swift and negative. Complaints of unfairness and feelings of exclusion flooded social media. Parents made derogatory remarks about the awards, the invited students, and even the teachers who chose the recipients. It was a display of envy that left me shocked.
Seriously? Complaining that our kids didn’t receive academic awards has become the norm?
It’s already troubling that our generation of parents insists on fairness for all, adopting the “everyone gets a trophy” mentality. We argue with teachers over grades, dispute referee calls, and demand more playing time for our kids. We’ve become so overprotective that our children may struggle to cope with feelings of rejection and the disappointment of not always winning. How is this acceptable?
While I understand that some children may never excel in a sport or achieve the highest grades, can we all agree that there will always be someone who excels at something? There will always be an MVP, prom queen, and valedictorian. In a perfect world, our child might embody all those roles, but that’s unrealistic. There will always be a child who shines in a school play or one who is destined for the Olympics due to their athletic talent. When did it become acceptable to downplay their talents to make others feel better?
In the weeks leading up to the awards ceremony, the grumbling continued. Some parents even suggested that the principal should cancel the event entirely. It was disheartening to witness mothers putting down the achievements of other children, especially since my son was among those honored. I take pride in his accomplishments, and hearing negativity directed at a ceremony he earned felt deeply hurtful. By the time the big night arrived, we attended quietly. Although I shared photos of his award presentation, my joy was slightly overshadowed by the complaints I encountered on social media from parents unable to accept that every child deserves a moment in the spotlight.
My child may never be the sports MVP, and I wouldn’t even think to get upset over his exclusion from a sports banquet. I would never tell a parent whose child scored the most touchdowns that my son deserves recognition too. I acknowledge that each child has unique gifts, and sometimes it feels wonderful to be recognized for achievements. And while I may not voice my thoughts to other sports parents, I might just remind them that my son comes from a legacy of Turkey Trot winners.
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Summary:
In an era where parents often focus excessively on their children’s achievements, the author reflects on her own experiences of competition and recognition. She questions the growing trend of negativity towards children receiving awards and emphasizes the importance of celebrating individual talents without diminishing others. Parents should acknowledge that every child deserves recognition for their accomplishments, without resorting to jealousy or complaints.