In the world of parenting, discussions about race can often be daunting, but for me, they’ve become part of a natural progression in understanding my biracial son, who we’ll call Leo.
One day, while watching basketball, Leo exclaimed, “Look! It’s Uncle Jake!” I was momentarily puzzled, thinking my brother, who lives far away, had somehow materialized in our living room. But no, Leo was pointing at a clip of NBA superstar LeBron James on the screen. The height difference was stark—Uncle Jake stands at 5’10”, a far cry from LeBron’s towering 6’9″.
On a different occasion, Uncle Jake transformed into a collage of various athletes—from NFL quarterback Russell Wilson to a lesser-known college player during March Madness. As amusing as it was, I quickly realized that Leo was beginning to recognize skin color and was associating it with familiar faces.
Uncle Jake shares a “brown” complexion similar to many athletes Leo sees on television. Although I understood that this was a crucial stage in his development, I was anxious about how to approach conversations about race with a child who might feel he belongs to neither the black nor the white community—someone who is navigating his identity as a biracial child.
I began to question whether I had adequately exposed Leo to diverse role models. Our neighbors are of Indian descent, and his daycare boasts a varied mix of children from numerous backgrounds. Yet, the adults who frequented his life were predominantly white. While my family, a mix of African American relatives, spent time with Leo, Uncle Jake was the only young black male role model consistently present in his life. I worried that if he only saw young black men on TV playing sports, he might form limited associations based on those representations.
Leo’s perspective contrasted with mine. I fondly recalled my childhood curiosity about why some people had lighter skin when everyone around me was brown. However, Leo’s journey has been different.
One day, I asked him, “What color are you?” To my surprise, he replied, “I’m white, like Daddy.” I gently corrected him, explaining, “You are both brown and white. You’re a little bit like Mommy and a little bit like Daddy.”
At times, he found it challenging to distinguish between various individuals, associating “Daddy” with everyone from singer Michael McDonald to politicians debating healthcare. I was relieved to see he noticed not only skin color but also age and build, associating specific traits with his family members.
As I continued to engage him, I realized that, while he was aware of color differences, he hadn’t absorbed societal messaging that devalues people based on their skin tone. He expressed admiration for his friends of color, referring to them as “brown” or “Chinese,” without any negative connotations. Children can develop racial biases early, but Leo seemed to accept diversity as a natural part of life.
I recognized that we were fostering a positive environment by being intentional about cultural participation, seeking diverse interactions in his daycare, and providing literature and media that reflect the mosaic of society. Leo viewed it as normal to have friends and family of varying backgrounds, feeling comfortable with both “brown” and “peach” families.
I am not so naive as to believe this harmonious perspective will last indefinitely. As children grow, they inevitably begin to process the negative messages that society often conveys. However, I cling to the hope that Leo can maintain genuine friendships that transcend racial and ethnic boundaries.
Now a bit older at five, Leo’s understanding of his identity and race has matured, though he still perceives the world in vibrant colors. He no longer identifies solely as “white like Daddy,” but more as “peach,” happily noting that he shares this shade with his younger brother, who is on the way. He has even mused about being light brown, similar to Uncle Jake—but not quite as dark as Mommy, whom he likens to certain famous athletes.
Ultimately, Leo embraces his dual heritage, and I celebrate that alongside him. For more insights on topics related to family and diversity, consider exploring resources like this article or this expert overview.
In summary, recognizing race in children is a natural part of their development. With thoughtful engagement and exposure to diversity, we can help shape a positive understanding of identity in biracial children. Resources like News Medical can provide further information on pregnancy and the broader spectrum of experiences within diverse families.