I struggled immensely with my first newborn, and it’s not something people often admit. The reality is, my little one was colicky, enduring weeks of relentless crying that felt like an eternity. I didn’t realize how tough it was until my second baby came along.
From day one, my eldest daughter screamed without pause. It wasn’t just typical crying; it was an intense wail that persisted day and night for nearly seven months. There seemed to be no cause for it, which was both exhausting and disconcerting. After long, grueling days, I’d often find myself parked in the Target lot, my husband inside with our daughter while I cried, seeking a moment of peace from the chaos.
I constantly felt like I was failing her. I thought, “I must be doing something wrong; this can’t be normal.” I tried every possible solution I could find—advice from friends, countless articles, and endless theories—but nothing worked. Each time I attempted something that had helped others, only to be met with failure, my sense of inadequacy intensified.
Well-meaning family and friends offered advice that only deepened my self-doubt. “Your milk isn’t enough, switch to formula,” they said, even though she was thriving. “You need to stick to a stricter routine,” they suggested, despite my attempts to follow every schedule I could find. “Put her to bed earlier,” they recommended, but I often started bedtime as early as 5 PM, only for her to settle down well past midnight. “Babies only cry when they need something. Are you sure there’s nothing wrong?” I took her to the doctor multiple times, hoping for a diagnosis that would explain her behavior, but each visit yielded no answers.
It became difficult to talk about my experience, which only added to my isolation. When she didn’t cry around others, I felt like I was losing my grip on reality. I avoided hosting guests because I felt stuck with the “bad” moments, while others experienced her rare “good” times. It was psychologically overwhelming.
Even though I knew that her colic was inexplicable, the self-doubt lingered. When she finally started sleeping through the night, it felt like a new beginning, yet the memories of those tumultuous months haunted me. Even now, as I navigate life with my second baby, I still find myself anxious whenever she cries. I was terrified history would repeat itself, but thankfully, my second daughter has proven to be a “normal” baby, devoid of colic.
At first, I approached her with fear, every cry sending me into panic mode. But by the third month, I realized that my younger daughter was not colicky. I was doing everything the same, yet I had a completely different baby. I preached that “every baby is different,” but now I truly understand it.
I didn’t fail my first daughter; I survived the ordeal. Even as I recount this, it feels dramatic, yet it’s the truth. It’s tough to describe the experience of having a “difficult” baby unless you’ve lived it. I felt guilty for not savoring every moment of motherhood. I yearned for someone who understood my struggles to guide me through. If you find yourself in a similar situation, know this: You’ve done nothing wrong. You can’t “fix” it, and it’s okay if you don’t enjoy every moment. This phase won’t last forever, even if it feels endless. You will make it through, and it’s perfectly fine to cry. The most comforting words I received were from friends and family, simply acknowledging my struggle: “I’m sorry. You’re doing a great job.” So, if you need to hear this: I’m sorry. You’re doing a fantastic job.
Despite the challenges, my once-colicky baby has blossomed into a remarkable toddler.
For more insights and shared experiences, check out this blog post on home insemination. If you’re interested in toddler safety, visit this authoritative source. For valuable information regarding pregnancy, you can explore this excellent resource.
Search Queries:
- How to soothe a crying baby
- Understanding colic in infants
- Tips for new parents with colicky babies
- Signs of a healthy newborn
- Coping mechanisms for new parents
In summary, navigating life with a colicky baby is an incredibly challenging experience that can leave parents feeling isolated and overwhelmed. If you find yourself in a similar situation, remember that you’re not alone and that it’s okay to seek support.