Recently, while scrolling through social media, I stumbled upon a Facebook post where a parent shared a so-called “funny” letter from her child. Normally, I enjoy these posts, but this one left me unsettled.
The letter was a heartfelt expression from a tween girl to her mom, expressing frustration over feeling yelled at and dismissed. Instead of acknowledging her daughter’s feelings, the mom rolled her eyes, labeling her daughter as overly sensitive. In another instance, a different mother publicly embarrassed her teenage son for his poor report card. She posted a picture of him along with comments filled with anger, claiming she hated him.
While I understand that these parents are overwhelmed and frustrated, it’s important to note that their actions can be deeply hurtful. The mom who shared her daughter’s private letter likely loves her, but sharing such personal moments online is never appropriate. It’s crucial for parents to consider how sharing private information can breach trust and impact their child’s self-esteem.
Humiliation and shame should never be tools for discipline, and social media isn’t the right platform for airing grievances about parenting challenges. The letter shared by the Facebook friend demonstrated a failure to listen and validate her daughter’s feelings, which is the very behavior the daughter was upset about.
Parents who frequently share their children’s private matters often find themselves bewildered by their kids’ behaviors, such as backtalk and disrespect. But when parents don’t model respect and maturity, why should children feel compelled to behave differently? Mutual respect must be earned, not demanded.
While venting to close friends or in private groups can be acceptable, posting on a public forum crosses a line. If you want your children to trust and respect you, avoid sharing their private matters online.
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