“I’m calling your daughter,” my Mom declared. “She’s likely feeling anxious.”
At 97, Mom still has a vitality that’s impressive, especially considering she was born in 1926, while my daughter is about to welcome her first child. This generational gap highlights how life expectancy has risen and many women are choosing to have children later in life.
“That’s thoughtful of you, Mom,” I replied. “She’s doing well, but I know a chat with you would mean a lot.”
“I want to share my thoughts on childbirth,” she insisted, her determination evident.
Despite her age, Mom is in great shape; she can easily navigate stairs and enjoy a drink, maintaining her sharp wit. However, her eyesight has faded, her memory isn’t what it used to be, and her judgment can be a bit off.
I reminded her that today’s expectant mothers have access to a wealth of information about pregnancy and childbirth that far surpasses what I had when I was pregnant in the 1980s. My daughter seems to know everything—from when the baby’s kidneys develop to the precise dimensions of its spine.
When Mom was pregnant in the 1950s, such technology was nonexistent. By the time I was expecting, I had only a vague sonogram. My daughter, however, has vibrant images of her baby’s heart.
“Mom,” I said, “Childbirth has evolved quite a bit since your time.”
“Rubbish,” she retorted. “Giving birth is still giving birth! Besides, you had two C-sections, while I had my babies the traditional way. I know more about that than you do.”
“But didn’t you have twilight sleep or gas?” I inquired.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Lisa, I don’t recall. It was nothing major. Every generation believes they’ve revolutionized childbirth.”
The following day, I spoke with my daughter.
“Grandma called,” she told me. “We had a lovely chat.”
“Did she share insights on childbirth?”
“Not really. She mostly recounted how challenging you and your siblings were as babies. And she was shocked that my husband would join me in the delivery room.”
“Oh dear,” I sighed. I’ve always been annoyed by the phrase “she means well,” but I found myself using it nonetheless. I knew my daughter was anxious about labor and delivery, a common feeling with first-time mothers. She needed encouragement, not daunting tales.
Then my daughter surprised me.
“Your mom gave me a pep talk,” she said. “She told me that I’m strong and smart, and that I’ll be just fine.”
That left me speechless. My daughter is indeed strong, intelligent, and spirited—just like her 97-year-old grandmother. That legacy will surely guide her through this journey. She will be just fine.
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