Recently, my seven-year-old daughter asked me a thought-provoking question: “Why do girls always have to look good, Mom?” She notices the time I invest in getting ready compared to her father. She sees me fussing over my hair, clothes, and body, and observes the way girls in movies and TV shows often appear more preoccupied with their looks than boys.
It struck me deeply and made me reflect on the societal pressures surrounding appearance. I didn’t have a straightforward answer for her. Should I explain that society often evaluates women based on their looks? While it’s a harsh reality, it’s not something I wish for her to internalize at such a young age. I want her to understand that her worth is defined by her intelligence, character, and achievements, not her outward appearance.
Images play a significant role in shaping perceptions, more than we often realize. Throughout the day, we encounter countless visuals through the internet and magazines, many of which subtly influence our thoughts and feelings. It’s crucial to analyze the imagery my kids and I consume, both consciously and unconsciously.
At seven, my imaginative and vibrant daughter doesn’t concern herself much with grooming. I admire her carefree spirit, as it took me years to embrace that mindset. She has little interest in hairbrushes and matching outfits, often emerging from her room dressed in a delightful mix of patterns reminiscent of Pippi Longstocking — floral prints, stripes, and plaid paired with superhero socks and a frilly dress. “Why can’t I wear this?” she declares with confidence.
Yet, she knows my response will likely be negative. This often leads to a playful pout and dramatic gestures. However, recently, I decided to break from the usual routine and encouraged her to wear whatever she pleased. The joy on her face was infectious, and it became clear that her self-esteem flourished in that moment. I realized I need to embrace her individuality and move away from traditional gender norms.
Girls face immense pressure to conform to societal expectations, and boys do too, albeit often in different ways. They are told not to be too loud or too shy, not to be overly modest or too provocative. The balancing act of being confident yet humble, smart yet not intimidating, stylish yet relatable creates an impossible standard. It’s no surprise that many girls grapple with body image issues, with a disturbing number developing eating disorders.
Having once faced an eating disorder myself during my teenage years, I understand the weight of this concern. Alarmingly, research indicates that 42% of girls in grades one through three express a desire to be thinner. A 2006 article in Science Daily from Brown Medical School and other institutions revealed that even without an eating disorder, body image issues can consume mental energy, detracting from quality of life.
So, what can we do as parents? I recently discovered the work of Atlanta photographer Mia Thompson, who emphasizes the importance of changing the narrative around beauty standards. Her project, “Strong Is the New Beautiful,” challenges traditional notions of attractiveness by showcasing girls engaged in activities they love. Mia’s images capture real moments of joy and determination, in stark contrast to the unrealistic portrayals often seen in mainstream advertising.
The impact of our society’s fixation on appearance goes beyond self-image. A study highlighted in The Washington Post shows that girls as young as six perceive themselves as less intelligent than boys. In analyzing Google search trends, the results revealed that searches about boys largely focus on intelligence while those about girls center on appearance. It’s crucial that we, as parents, prioritize our daughters’ intellect just as we do for our sons.
While I still haven’t provided my daughter with a clear answer to her question, I plan to have an open discussion about it soon. I want to share Mia’s work with her and encourage her to reflect on the images we encounter together. By fostering media literacy, we can help combat the pressures of societal expectations. We may even explore involvement in initiatives like the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood.
As I embark on this journey with my daughter, I can’t help but wonder if it will be enough to fortify her during her teenage years. We can discuss media negativity endlessly, but we know that a single image can convey more than a thousand words.
In summary, my daughter’s innocent inquiry opened up a vital conversation about societal expectations and the pressures girls face regarding their appearance. By promoting self-acceptance and challenging stereotypes, we can help cultivate a healthier self-image among young girls.