Twelve years ago, Mother’s Day became my turning point. I woke up dreading the day ahead. My ex-husband had invited his mother over, and I felt obligated to invite mine, too. The entire day turned into a chaotic whirlwind.
At the time, my kids were toddlers, bursting with excitement to see their grandmothers. Their dad tried to keep them entertained while I juggled cooking and baking for seven people. By the time everyone arrived, I hadn’t even had a moment to sit down. And when I finally did, I barely managed to eat a bite before the kids demanded my attention. My guests expected the same, and afterward, I was left to clean up the mess—on Mother’s Day, no less. It was infuriating.
Neither my mother nor my mother-in-law noticed how overwhelmed I was. My ex-husband promised he’d handle the cleanup later, but I knew better; I’d be left with it the next day. I was filled with resentment. I craved a day where I didn’t have to cater to everyone else’s needs.
In that moment, I told my ex-husband that I wanted to spend Mother’s Day with just him and the kids—no one else. I envisioned a day out at a restaurant and a cozy dinner at home. His response? “My mom can’t stop by? It’s Mother’s Day.” I firmly told him no. I felt it was time for a change; my mother-in-law had her time to be celebrated, and it was my turn now. I wanted to be recognized as the mother of his young children. If he wanted to visit his mom, he could take the kids to her house for a few hours so I could unwind. He never did this, and his mother wasn’t keen on the idea either. While I wanted to honor our moms, I found myself feeling overlooked.
Throughout high school and college, I had always celebrated my own mother on Mother’s Day. But once my sisters and I became mothers ourselves, it became increasingly difficult to put together elaborate celebrations, which disappointed my mom. Once I stood my ground, we began a new tradition: we dressed up, took family photos, and dined out, with no guests allowed. I’m grateful I set this tone; I’ve never looked back.
Now, post-divorce, I enjoy lunch with my mom the week before and have sushi with my kids on Mother’s Day. It’s absolute bliss.
Moms of young kids at home put in so much effort. We are the ones in the trenches, and we deserve a day to ourselves. Our mothers and mothers-in-law aren’t the ones running the kids to practice, cooking dinner every night, or managing the daily grind anymore. There was a time when they did, but now it’s our turn. We should get to do whatever we want on this special day, even if that means skipping plans with our moms.
Of course, some might genuinely look forward to hosting their mothers on Mother’s Day. Maybe they have the support they need and don’t feel overwhelmed. That’s great! But for many of us, it’s a different story.
We all deserve the feeling I have on Mother’s Day now. Go after it!
For more insights about navigating motherhood, check out this blog post or explore the resources at CDC’s Pregnancy. If you’re interested in deeper discussions on related topics, visit Intracervical Insemination.
Search Queries:
- Mother’s Day celebration ideas
- How to spend Mother’s Day
- Self-care for moms on Mother’s Day
- Balancing family and personal time
- Planning the perfect Mother’s Day
Summary:
Mother’s Day should be a celebration dedicated to mothers who are actively parenting. The author recounts a frustrating experience where the day was focused on others instead of herself, leading to a newfound tradition of celebrating her own motherhood. Now, she enjoys the day with her children, emphasizing the importance of self-care and personal time for mothers.