Mother’s Day: A Reminder to Banish Mommy Guilt

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It’s Mother’s Day, and my partner is feeling down on herself. I realize that on a day dedicated to celebrating mothers, it might be tempting to overlook her feelings, but her sentiments are misguided and deserve to be addressed.

We had a hectic morning, waking up far too early to prepare for a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. After a quick breakfast, our kids dashed upstairs to get ready. While I struggled with gift wrapping, my daughter complained of a sore foot. My partner called me upstairs to show me that our little girl was limping and had a swollen foot. A quick call to the doctor led us to split up: I took our son to the party while she headed to the hospital for an x-ray.

While we wrapped up at Chuck E. Cheese, my partner received the x-ray results—thankfully, it was nothing serious, and our daughter stopped limping after some Motrin. We then regrouped at a Park & Ride outside Baltimore before heading to another birthday gathering in D.C. After a full day, we finally returned home around 9:30 PM.

Clearly exhausted, my partner said something that made me pause. “Hey,” I pointed out, “At least tomorrow is Mother’s Day, and you’ll get some presents!”

“I don’t deserve presents,” she replied, “I’m hardly doing my part as a mom anyway.”

My partner travels frequently for work, and while she doesn’t leave to escape her family, she feels the weight of her responsibilities as a modern mother. She juggles parenting with a career, often in a world that expects her to do it all. When she lands in Seattle after a long flight, she sees pictures of her kids enjoying their time with me, their stay-at-home dad. Yet, despite her dedication, she wrestles with guilt about not being there enough.

It’s puzzling, really. How can a woman who sacrifices so much for her family question her worth as a mother? She is an incredible mom who teaches our children life lessons in ways I can’t even match. She deserves recognition, not doubt about her abilities. I wish I could celebrate her every day with gifts, but all I can offer is a brief Facetime chat with the kids while she’s away.

We often perceive ourselves through the lens of how we think others view us. This idea, which I encountered in a psychology class long ago, reveals how the pressures of society can warp our self-image. If we assume that the ideal mother must be present every moment, then those who work or travel may feel like they’re failing. My partner, about to leave for Seattle again after only a short time at home, is caught in this trap of guilt. Yet, I want to make it clear: no one deserves appreciation more than she does. Our children are fortunate to have her as their mother, and I am incredibly grateful to share this life with her. Happy Mother’s Day to the woman who embodies everything a mother should be.

And to all the mothers out there—those who travel for work and fear they’re neglecting their children, those who stay home and feel they’re letting down their peers, those managing chores and those wishing for a break—remember that you are doing your best. To all the mothers who feel judged and burdened by guilt, you are valuable and deserving of love and recognition. Happy Mother’s Day!

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Summary:

This Mother’s Day, it’s important to acknowledge and appreciate the sacrifices mothers make, especially those who feel guilty about their choices. Whether traveling for work or managing home responsibilities, mothers deserve recognition for their love and commitment. We must challenge outdated expectations and celebrate the diverse ways mothers contribute to their families.