I always thought I had an iron stomach. Blood? No problem. Vomit? Unpleasant, but I could handle it. I even managed to clean up dog urine without losing my lunch. However, I drew the line at certain bodily functions. The thought of teeth falling out made me cringe, and I couldn’t stand the smell of urine in alleys. Cleaning up after dogs was a whole other level of gross that my partner usually took on.
Then I became a mom, and my tolerance for grossness skyrocketed. Anyone without kids may understand that children can be messy, but they really have no clue until they live with one—especially a little one. The things you end up doing as a parent would have made my former self gag.
You’ll Clean Poop from Unexpected Places
Non-moms might assume that dealing with diapers is just part of the job. They get that it’s gross, but they don’t realize how far the mess can spread. Poop can end up in all sorts of crevices, and some days it might take several wipes to get it all. You’ll find yourself doing it without a second thought, simply because it’s your responsibility as a mom. Didn’t read the fine print on that contract? Too bad!
You’ll Get Poop on Your Hands
There will be times when a diaper fails, and you’ll be faced with a baby covered in poop from head to toe. You’ll wrestle them out of their clothes, usually when you’re dressed up for an occasion, and as you wipe, some of that mess will inevitably get on your hands. In a moment of frustration, you might even wipe it onto your clothing and keep going. Once upon a time, I would have upchucked at the sight of dog poop. Now? I’m just wiping human excrement off my bare hands like it’s a normal Tuesday.
You’ll Discover the Best Cleaners for Bodily Fluids
Your child may not intentionally become a little Picasso with poop on the walls, but you’ll definitely have to clean out their training potty, which is no small feat. If you have boys, get ready for urine to be everywhere except the toilet, and you’ll soon find out which cleaners do the best job of masking that smell. What once horrified you now becomes just another day in the life.
You’ll Catch Vomit with Your Hands
It’s practically a rite of passage: you’ll find yourself holding out your hands to catch your child’s vomit. It’s more efficient than cleaning up the mess from the couch or the floor. Yes, you will hold that warm, gooey mess without gagging—because you have to.
You’ll Suck Snot Out of Their Nose
Enter the NoseFrida, the magical device every mom swears by. You’ll suck snot from your child’s nose like it’s a sport, all with a barrier in place. The mere thought of it would have made me queasy before, but now? I’m barking orders at my spouse to hold the baby still while I do the dirty work.
You’ll Dive Deep into Ear Cleaning
My kids inherited their father’s propensity for earwax, and I find myself armed with Q-tips, cleaning out those sticky messes while they giggle away. My pre-mom self would have fainted at the thought of such a task, but now it’s just part of the job.
Someone Will Bleed on You—Like, For Real
I don’t mean a small cut. I’m talking about a head injury that sends you rushing to the ER, where blood will end up smeared on you and your child. It’s a whole different level of panic, and being okay with blood? That doesn’t even begin to cover it.
You’ll Wipe Snot Off Their Face—With Your Hand
When you’re caught without a tissue, you’ll swipe a blob of snot from your kid’s face with your hand and maybe wipe it on the car seat. Touching your own snot is gross, but your kid’s? That’s just part of being a mom.
You’ll Clean Up Various Messes
Remember those messy obstacle courses from shows like Double Dare? As a mom, you’ll regularly find yourself scrubbing avocado from neck folds and spaghetti sauce from ears. Once a gross-out, now it’s just another task on your list.
You may have thought your stomach was tough, but motherhood strengthens it in ways you never imagined. It’s a beautiful, chaotic, and yes, incredibly messy journey. You’ll embrace the grossness because it’s all part of the joy of being a mom.
For more insights on parenting, check out this article on home insemination kits. If you’re curious about mental health in children, this resource can provide valuable information. And if you’re looking into pregnancy options, WebMD has excellent resources.
Summary
Motherhood transforms your perception of grossness. From changing diapers to catching vomit, you’ll find your limits tested and expanded in ways you never imagined. The journey is messy and chaotic, yet filled with joy and love.