Motherhood is a perplexing journey. It’s hard to find another role where you become so intimately involved in another person’s bathroom habits and engage in debates over the correct shoe placement. Yet, it remains one of life’s most instinctive experiences — if it weren’t, humanity wouldn’t have survived. This blend of oddity and normalcy highlights the numerous contradictions that come with being a mom. Consider these examples:
Longing for solitude while missing them fiercely when they’re gone
I can recall countless moments when all I craved was a little peace and quiet. Times when, despite my love for my kids, I felt on the brink of insanity from their constant demands. Then, on one fortunate occasion, I enjoyed a vacation without them — and spent the entire first day consumed by thoughts of how much I missed them, feeling as though I was suffocating, similar to when they won’t leave me be. Oh, the irony!
Recognizing their flaws but feeling furious when someone else points them out
Imagine my child is a professional whiner — I can complain about it all day long since I’m their mother. But if anyone else dares to say, “Your child is incredibly whiny,” we’re going to have a serious issue.
Disciplining them often but resenting it when others do the same
As the main enforcer of rules in our home (often labeled as “not the favorite parent”), I regularly administer consequences. However, if someone else tries to correct my kids as if they were me, I quickly become defensive, even if my children deserve it. And when it’s my partner, who equally has the right to discipline, I often feel he’s being overly severe — even if his methods are gentler than mine.
Encouraging them to eat while hoarding your own food
When my kids were younger, I worried they’d survive on nothing but air and crumbs. I employed every tactic imaginable to coax them into eating. But let me tell you, if they wanted to share my stash of expensive chocolate? Absolutely not. I’d rather hide in the closet, savoring it in secret.
Secretly wishing they’d embrace their inner nerd while fearing bullying
As my children inch closer to their teenage years, I find myself anxious about high school. From a parental perspective, I’d love for my son to become the quirky, honor-roll student leading the chess club (because those kids tend to shy away from risky teenage behavior). Yet, the reality is that being that “geek” often leads to ridicule. Which is the lesser evil: my kids engaging in the reckless behavior I did at their age (yikes!) or being safe but facing potential mockery?
Losing your patience throughout the day, then marveling at their sweetness once asleep
There are days (especially during summer break) when my kids bicker incessantly, and I find myself wishing for some peace. However, as soon as they drift off at night and I check on them, all the chaos of the day fades away. I see their serene faces, their innocence, and feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for these precious beings entrusted to my care — until they wake me up, claiming they “can’t sleep.”
Motherhood is the most exasperating, rewarding, exhilarating, nightmarish, and awe-inspiring role you will ever encounter.
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In summary, motherhood encapsulates a whirlwind of contradictions that make the experience both challenging and deeply fulfilling.