Why do so many of us take the already challenging journey of motherhood and turn it into a competitive sport? The reality is, motherhood isn’t something you can prepare for like an athlete training for the Olympics; it’s not a contest where trophies are awarded.
Let’s face it: there’s no shiny medal waiting for you at the finish line of motherhood. You put in the hard work—giving up cheese, wine, and deli meats for nine long months, sacrificing sleep, intimacy, and personal time. Many of us even lose pieces of ourselves along the way—my dental health took a hit, for instance. You trade away hobbies, peaceful Sunday mornings with the newspaper, and the luxury of Saturday naps for the unpredictable chaos that comes with raising kids. Some even step back from careers, dreams, and their individual identities.
But guess what? At the end of it all, there’s still no medal.
Once you become a mother, it’s a lifelong commitment. The journey ebbs and flows—sometimes easier, sometimes harder—much like that pesky head lice that seems to never fully disappear. And do you know what lies at the end of this journey? Death. Yes, death is the ultimate finish line of motherhood, and even then, you might find yourself unpacking your feelings in therapy.
Motherhood is not a race where you earn recognition for the fanciest Rice Krispie treats or for having your child enrolled in a myriad of activities. You won’t be standing on a podium for shuttling your kids to countless events or for choosing a more laid-back lifestyle. There’s no gold medal for baking the best birthday cakes or for surviving on minimal sleep. Whether you’re a culinary whiz or a mom who orders takeout, you never receive a medal.
There isn’t even a silver for those who purée kale and freeze it in tiny cubes, nor a bronze for those who strive to write authentically about their experiences as mothers.
Motherhood is not meant to be viewed as a competition or an endurance event requiring rigorous training. While we all aim for our personal best, that should be about striking a balance between nurturing our children and taking care of ourselves. Overcommitting to every task or striving to be perfect may give the illusion of achievement, but at the end of the day, there’s still no medal.
If you’re fortunate, you might get some flowers and brunch on Mother’s Day. You can create artfully crafted lunches or volunteer for every school event, but in the end, there’s still no medal.
Women are incredibly talented and multifaceted, but once we enter motherhood, that complexity often gets constricted into a narrow focus on parenting. This can lead to a mindset of competition among mothers, each vying for the title of “best mom.” But being a good or even a not-so-great mom doesn’t have to define your entire existence. It can be an important part of who you are, but it shouldn’t be the only thing that shapes your identity.
Remember, there are no podiums or anthems awaiting you. No one will raise a flag in your honor or feature you on a box of diapers as the face of motherhood. Forget about ticker tape parades or Wikipedia entries; there are no trophies or consolation prizes.
The true reward lies in watching your children grow into respectful, kind individuals who contribute positively to society. That’s worth far more than any medal you could ever earn. Just don’t exhaust yourself in the quest for perfection, or you may miss out on enjoying the journey itself.
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Summary
Motherhood is not a competition, and there are no medals for achievements or sacrifices made along the way. The journey is challenging but rewarding in its own right, with the ultimate goal being raising kind, respectful children. Don’t get lost in the race for perfection; instead, focus on enjoying the experience and nurturing both yourself and your children.