Updated: February 8, 2017
Originally Published: November 30, 2016
Image Credit: Ollyy / Shutterstock
It’s official: my kids are wreaking havoc on my brain. I’m not referring to the classic “mommy brain,” that hazy fog that descends during those sleepless nights with newborns. My children are now older, venturing into the realm of reason and responsibility. They are somewhat capable beings who should, in theory, require less constant supervision than infants. By this stage, I should have moved past the “mommy brain” phase.
Yet, every day, I grapple with articulating even the most straightforward ideas. At times, it becomes so overwhelming that I wonder if a doctor’s visit is in order. Just the other day, as we were scrambling to leave for an obligatory family event, I blurted out, “Where’s my…um, bag? The leather…that bag I put my stuff in. Ugh! Where is it? I left it right here on the…where we eat. Gah!”
Purse. Table. Basic English. Am I developing Alzheimer’s? No, no, it’s my kids’ fault. Parenthood has robbed me of my cognitive abilities. That jumbled sentence slipped out under the stress of a time crunch, alongside a flurry of other frantic reminders: “Put on your shoes!” “Did you take your last pee?” (My 6-year-old has an anxious bladder). “Hey, you left the milk out again! Seriously?” And then there’s the constant battle of why every light in the house is lit!
And that’s merely one instance. Increasingly, I find myself frustrated by how much of my mental energy is consumed managing, reprimanding, and caring for my children. I knew parenthood would be significant and involve sacrifice, but some aspects are utterly incomprehensible until you’re entrenched in the chaos.
I never anticipated spending thirty minutes untangling a knot, or being pulled away from my work because one child managed to get their head stuck under the couch. I certainly didn’t expect to halt my activities because a full roll of toilet paper had somehow made its way into a toilet filled with, well, not pleasant things.
The incessant noise is also a challenge—my children produce a barrage of sounds even when they aren’t directly seeking my attention: singing, humming, banging, screeching, yodeling, clicking, buzzing… it’s relentless. How can anyone think amidst this cacophony?
I long for my thoughts. I miss completing sentences. I yearn for the days of college when I was regularly challenged to analyze complex topics. I miss the satisfaction of mastering a subject or pondering a big idea for hours or even days. These days, I’d settle for any uninterrupted thought. Unfortunately, there’s no mental space left because my children occupy every corner of my mind.
(Just as I typed “brain,” my 6-year-old bounded over and declared, “Mommy! You know that jiggly stuff on your leg? That’s muscle so you can hold yourself up!” Adorable, yes, but I’m trying to focus here.)
What was I saying? Oh right… my kids are all-consuming, noisy, and distracting, obliterating my cognitive abilities.
Do other parents of older kids feel this way? Am I losing it? Am I giving too much of myself?
I do encourage my kids to entertain themselves, to figure things out independently, and to resolve conflicts without my intervention. I’m not a helicopter parent. Yet, even getting them to play independently demands time, effort, and creativity. By the time I successfully shoo them away, I’m often too emotionally exhausted to engage in the higher-level thinking I once enjoyed.
Of course, just as I start to regain my mental clarity, I hear shouting. The sound of something crashing. A child in tears. Instantly, I’m pulled back into the whirlwind of motherhood.
Recently, during a rare moment of peace, I asked my husband how anyone can manage more than two children. I told him that I’d likely lose my sanity if I had to juggle more. He reminded me that one day, I’d look back and miss these chaotic times—that the silence would feel more oppressive than the noise ever did. Just what I wanted to hear. Still, I know he’s right. One day, I’ll miss this beautiful chaos.
Right now, though, my mind is stretched so thin that there’s barely any brainpower left to appreciate the moment. That feels like advanced calculus to me.
So, until that serene (and blissful) day arrives, I’ll continue to fight the good fight. I’ll seek out moments of tranquility, keep my office door locked, and gently usher my sweet kids away when I truly need to work. At least until someone gets their head stuck under the couch again.
For more insights on navigating motherhood, check out this blog post on home insemination kits. If you’re looking for creative breakfast ideas, this resource on smoothie bowls is a must. And for valuable information about pregnancy, visit this site.
In summary, motherhood can be a whirlwind that takes a toll on your mental clarity. While it’s filled with chaos and distractions, it also holds moments of joy that we may one day miss. Balancing the demands of parenting with the desire for personal thought is an ongoing challenge that many of us face.