Motherhood Doesn’t Just Happen Instantly—There’s a Term for It

Adult human female anatomy diagram chartCan you do self-insemination at home ?

Have you ever reflected on how becoming a new mother resembles the awkward phase of adolescence? That time when your emotions are all over the place, you question your identity, and it seems like no one understands what you’re going through? Sounds familiar, right? This transition to motherhood has a name: Matrescence.

You might have been led to believe that mastering motherhood should come naturally the moment your baby is placed in your arms. However, the reality is far more complex. The journey to becoming a mother is a multifaceted process that can dramatically alter your life. That’s why understanding Matrescence is essential for mothers and their supporters.

The term Matrescence was first introduced in the 1970s by anthropologist Dana Louise Raphael to help normalize the transition into motherhood. Reproductive psychologist Dr. Mia Thompson revived the concept in 2008, defining Matrescence as “a comprehensive change during the transition to motherhood that involves various aspects—biological, psychological, social, political, and spiritual—and can be compared to the developmental phase of adolescence.” Dr. Thompson views this stage as a personal journey that can commence before conception, repeat with each child, and last a lifetime.

Dr. Thompson notes that both teenagers and new mothers often express feelings of being unmoored, stating, “…everything feels upside down, I don’t recognize myself anymore. A part of me feels lost. I’m not sure who I am now. Nothing will ever be the same.” If you’re nodding your head in agreement, know you aren’t alone.

Unlike adolescence, Matrescence is not widely recognized as a developmental stage. Mothers face this transformative experience under more challenging conditions—sleep deprivation, steep learning curves, high expectations, and caring for another vulnerable human all while trying to care for themselves. It’s as if you’re thrust back into daily life without adequate support or recognition of your transformation.

As you navigate this journey, you develop new skills, forge and reshape relationships, and adapt to a new existence. At the same time, you may grapple with identity loss, conflicting emotions, and a sense of mourning for your previous life. These changes can catch many moms off guard. When seeking support on social media, you might be overwhelmed by images of “perfect” mothers, which can leave you feeling inadequate.

While most people recognize the physical changes that accompany motherhood—body changes, hormones, stretch marks—the experience of becoming a mother goes beyond the physical. It’s crucial to note that Matrescence is not exclusive to those who have given birth. Dr. Thompson highlights that her research shows similar experiences among adoptive mothers, stepparents, and surrogates.

Motherhood evokes a complex array of emotions—happiness, fear, joy, exhaustion, pride, guilt, and everything in between. It’s easy to feel lost between the idealized version of motherhood and the reality you face. Though this is a normal experience, many mothers endure this transition silently.

It’s common to feel compelled to hide “negative” emotions that clash with the societal image of motherhood. Some may mistakenly equate these feelings with postpartum depression, but that’s often not the case. There exists a spectrum of experiences between the “perfectly perfect” mother and postpartum depression. Dr. Thompson believes that recognizing Matrescence can serve as a “healing agent,” helping mothers understand that they will encounter both good and bad days.

Psychologically, motherhood requires redefining your identity and roles, often against your will. This upheaval prompts you to question who you are, what matters to you, and how you connect with others. Dr. Thompson compares this to a game of 52-card pickup—someone has scattered your life in disarray, and now you must sort through it and reassemble everything.

Although you might feel disorganized, Dr. Thompson suggests thinking of it as a butterfly still in its cocoon. “The wings need to press and break free. This struggle is necessary for growth, and it requires support but doesn’t need to be rushed. It’s a gradual process,” she explains.

For more insights on this topic, check out this blog post or visit the experts for authoritative guidance on motherhood. Additionally, this resource is invaluable for anyone navigating pregnancy or home insemination.

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In summary, Matrescence is a profound and often overlooked transition into motherhood. It encapsulates the emotional, psychological, and social changes that mothers experience and highlights the complexity of this journey. Recognizing and validating these experiences can empower mothers to navigate this challenging yet rewarding phase of life.