For the past 12 years, I’ve been enveloped in the whirlwind of motherhood. With three children, it felt like I was constantly juggling a baby, a toddler, and sometimes both. In the chaos, it became all too easy to lose my sense of self, especially when it came to intimacy.
Before parenthood, my partner and I relished our Saturday mornings filled with sleep, leisurely breakfasts, and spontaneous outings. Those weekends often included a midday rendezvous, a cherished ritual that now seems like a distant memory.
I used to shy away from morning intimacy; I was always too preoccupied with thoughts of my unbrushed teeth, the messy kitchen, and the pile of laundry waiting to be tackled. The very idea of getting intimate before I had my coffee felt overwhelming. But everything shifted once children entered the picture.
The transition from our carefree Saturday afternoons to a virtually nonexistent intimate life hit suddenly. I was exhausted and overwhelmed, and the thought of intimacy became a low priority. But fast forward to today: our kids are now 12, 10, and 7. They grant us the luxury of sleeping in on weekends—until their squabbles over the last slice of pizza disrupt our peace.
Recently, I found a glimmer of our youthful selves again. We managed to carve out a few moments alone on a Saturday afternoon. Telling the kids we had something “important” to discuss, we would grab a few private minutes. It wasn’t quite the same as 15 years ago, but we made it work.
Then came a delightful surprise last weekend. While lounging in bed on a Saturday morning, I heard the kids playing downstairs. My partner, Tom, raised his eyebrows at me, and suddenly, all my previous hesitations melted away. Who cared about breath or a messy kitchen? This was a chance to reconnect, and I realized that every moment counts when you have kids in the house.
To my partner’s surprise, I leaped out of bed, locked the door, and we embraced an unexpected morning of passion. It was invigorating, and I didn’t worry about the kids or feel self-conscious about my appearance. For a blissful 10 (or was it 20?) minutes, we enjoyed uninterrupted intimacy.
Why had I resisted this for so long? I’ve missed those carefree moments and my partner deeply. Now, as we navigate our 40s with a bit more weight and a lot more love, we are rediscovering each other—sometimes between 8 a.m. and noon.
If you’re in the thick of parenthood, feeling exhausted and far from your former self, hold on. I’ve been there, and it does get better. While the youthful version of you may have faded, a new and exciting persona—Sexy Mama—is waiting to emerge.
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Summary:
This article explores the evolution of intimacy over years of parenting, highlighting the rediscovery of passion in the busyness of family life. The author reflects on how morning intimacy can reinvigorate personal connections, encouraging parents to embrace their evolving identities.