When my partner and I arrive anywhere with our lively crew, we instantly become a party of six. It’s chaotic, exhausting, and often incredibly noisy. But at the end of the day, they are my everything, and I wouldn’t trade my bustling family for anything in the world.
I’m not going to sugarcoat it—managing a family of this size comes with its share of challenges. Like any other mom, I find myself stretched thin. My household chores often take a backseat, my walls bear the evidence of tiny handprints, and there are days when I feel like I’m barely hanging on.
I’m open about these struggles, sharing them in conversations and writing to connect with other mothers who might feel isolated in their own challenges. However, I have noticed that society can be harsh toward moms with multiple children.
While I try not to let it bother me, the judgment can be infuriating. Questions like, “Did you think it would get easier after the first few?” or “Why did you decide to have more kids?” come up far too often. Yes, my husband and I have four kids—all aged four and under. It was our choice, and we fully embrace the chaos that comes with it.
We deserve to share our struggles without being judged because our family size doesn’t fit someone else’s idea of normal. When I hear these snarky comments, I often just laugh. It’s amusing how people assume they understand my life, when in reality, they have no idea.
To clarify, I actually have five children, but that’s a detail most people don’t know unless they’re close to us. I don’t usually start conversations by saying, “Hi, I’m Emma, and I have a lively family, minus one child who passed away.” It’s a heavy topic that I don’t discuss with every person I meet.
As for my two toddlers and two preschoolers, yes, they are two sets of twins. This is yet another detail that often goes unexplained in casual conversation. I share this not to elicit sympathy, but to encourage a broader understanding that everyone has a unique story.
I don’t know why another mom might choose to have just one child while I opted for a larger family; she may have faced infertility challenges, or perhaps she simply feels fulfilled with one. Whatever her reason, it’s not my place to judge.
The reality is, every mother’s struggles are valid, regardless of how many children they have. Unfortunately, society often imposes a “no mercy” rule on moms of large families, suggesting that we should just deal with our struggles without complaint because we chose this life.
Why the tough love? Moms with many children need just as much support and understanding as any other parents out there. The lack of compassion is baffling. When others scoff at our challenges, it feels as if they’re comparing us to children who complain about the messes they were asked to clean.
Big families are not the problem. The real issue lies in society’s lack of empathy for us. I refuse to apologize for my family, nor will I let anyone make me feel that my voice is insignificant just because I chose to create a large family.
I’m a proud mom of many, and my challenges matter too.
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In summary, moms of large families are often met with undue judgment and criticism. It’s essential to recognize that every mother faces her own set of challenges, regardless of the number of children she has. We deserve understanding and support, not snarky comments.