A little over a year ago, I took a hard look at the walls of my home and realized that I had only one photograph of myself displayed. Just one. It was a black-and-white shot from my wedding day, 14 years prior, featuring me dancing with my husband. Ironically, it didn’t even show my face; it was just a picture of my back. Why was this the only image I chose to showcase?
I’ve never been one to enjoy being in front of the camera. Unlike my sisters, I don’t consider myself photogenic. Over the years, I developed countless excuses to avoid the lens. I often busied myself with trivial tasks, all to stay out of the frame. My insecurities about my smile, hair, nose, and thighs led me to believe I wasn’t worthy of being photographed. If I couldn’t bear to see myself, why would anyone else want to? As a result, I missed capturing precious moments with my kids during holidays and milestones, always opting to be behind the camera instead.
Browsing through my children’s baby books, I noticed my absence in every single one. While there were a few pictures from when they were born, taken by visitors, most of them ended up shoved in a drawer. My kids were my inspiration, but I didn’t feel deserving enough to be in the spotlight alongside them.
Then one day, I stumbled upon a post by a woman named Sarah on Facebook. I didn’t know her personally, but she shared a raw selfie for her 40th birthday, showing her without makeup and a big smile. Her long braids cascaded down her chest, and her candidness about her insecurities resonated with me. I studied her picture multiple times. What struck me most was that I didn’t see the flaws she believed she had.
After being a mom for nearly 12 years, I realized how absurd it was to avoid being photographed due to my distorted self-image. I was missing out on documenting life as it happened. If I didn’t love myself, how could I expect others to? We all have things we wish to change about ourselves, but true beauty lies in embracing who we are—flaws and all. I may not fit the conventional mold of beauty, but that didn’t matter anymore. Life was happening, and I wanted my children to know I was living it with them.
We often dissect ourselves into fragments, thinking, “If only I had a better figure,” or “If my hair were shinier.” But when I look at your photo, I see you as a complete, beautiful individual. You are not defined by your size, smile, or hair. You are a person, and I focus on your unique spark rather than your imperfections.
So, take that photo. Snap a selfie—whether you’re glammed up or just rolling out of bed, whether you’re feeding your baby or feeling fabulous. Get in the frame with your kids, even if it means asking a stranger for help. Those moments are priceless, and they bring joy to everyone involved. Remember, life is best lived in the moment—even if that moment features a messy bun and no makeup.
Please don’t just focus on your perceived flaws; I’ll do my best to do the same. When I see your picture, I want to see you—the real you. By allowing others to see the authentic you, you might just inspire another woman to embrace her own beauty.
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In summary, Moms often become their own worst critics when it comes to being photographed. It’s essential to embrace who you are, flaws and all, and celebrate those moments with your children. Life unfolds in the present, and it’s worth capturing every bit of it.