It seems to be a common trend among mothers to diminish their own accomplishments, whether it’s a personal quirk or a broader societal issue. I’ve observed that many moms often feel the need to downplay their efforts in front of others.
“Oh, those cupcakes didn’t really turn out as planned,” says the mom who dedicated hours to baking and decorating for a school event.
“Oh, I’m just not that great at this,” sighs the mother who has skillfully juggled work commitments, helped with homework, navigated the challenges of raising tweens, and maintained a relationship with her partner—all in a week’s time.
“It’s not like millions of other women haven’t done the same,” remarks the woman who carried a child to term, endured labor, and nourished that child with her own body.
When faced with compliments, many of us instinctively downplay our achievements or even criticize ourselves. Here are a few reasons why this happens and why we should change our mindset.
1. Believing We Aren’t Worthy of Praise
Some individuals struggle with self-worth, possibly due to a past filled with shaming or guilt. However, if you think you don’t deserve recognition, it implies no one does. Remember, you are just as valuable as anyone else. While it may take practice to refrain from self-deprecation, it’s essential to try. Accept compliments graciously; there’s no need to belittle yourself when someone acknowledges your efforts.
2. Confusing Self-Deprecation with Humility
While humility is a commendable trait, it doesn’t require us to criticize ourselves. True humility uplifts those around us, while self-deprecation can make others feel as though they must reassure us. I once witnessed a remarkably humble speaker respond to praise by simply saying, “Thank you. That’s very kind of you.” Her acknowledgment not only honored her talent but also elevated those who complimented her.
3. Fear of Rejection
Confidence can feel risky, as it opens us up to criticism. Some women choose self-deprecation as a defense mechanism, thinking that if they criticize themselves first, it will shield them from the sting of rejection. However, this approach is detrimental; it undermines our self-esteem. We would never belittle a friend or loved one the way we do to ourselves. It’s crucial to treat ourselves with the same kindness we offer others.
The Importance of Self-Respect in Motherhood
Mothers, in particular, must abandon self-deprecating habits. When we belittle the challenges and significance of motherhood, we do not serve our children well. Motherhood is both demanding and vital, and we should communicate that truth to our kids and society. If we undermine our roles, how can we advocate for better maternal care, improved family leave policies, or increased support for all moms, whether they work outside the home or not?
Moreover, what message are we sending to our children? They learn by observing our actions more than our words. Are we demonstrating respect for ourselves as women and mothers? Are we modeling healthy self-worth and confidence? If we criticize our own abilities, how can we instill a sense of strength and capability in them?
Embrace Your Brilliance
It’s time to embrace your brilliance and celebrate one another, fellow moms. Our efforts in raising well-rounded children deserve recognition. The next time someone praises your parenting, your job, or your sense of style, respond with a simple, “Thank you. You’re so kind.” Accept your greatness with humility, and the world will follow suit.
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In summary, it’s essential for mothers to recognize and cherish their contributions rather than downplay them. By accepting compliments and owning our accomplishments, we not only empower ourselves but also set a positive example for our children.