I’ve been making a conscious effort to feel more confident in my parenting choices. More importantly, I’m focused on boosting my self-esteem as a parent — like telling the world to back off if they judge my kids for their screen time or if they choose to wear their dinosaur costume to the grocery store. Honestly, it doesn’t bother me. I can brush off the whispers of disapproval regarding my kids’ behavior. I take pride in standing my ground against external criticism.
What I didn’t anticipate was my reaction to a kind compliment.
Recently, a friend who is a fellow mom remarked that I was an “easygoing parent.” Instantly, I became defensive, interpreting her words as a veiled suggestion that I’m lazy or inadequate as a parent compared to her. Thankfully, my husband calmly reassured me, explaining that her statement was straightforward, without hidden meanings. She meant what she said, plain and simple.
So why did I overreact to such a benign comment? Because I struggle with accepting compliments.
Whether it’s societal pressure, upbringing, or media influence, many of us find it hard to accept that someone would genuinely praise us or our children. We often downplay the compliment. “Oh, they were great today, but you should’ve seen them last week.” Or we respond with a polite “thank you” while our inner voice insists, “You must be talking about someone else’s kids.”
It seems that we frequently misconstrue compliments from friends, family, and even strangers. When someone admires our hairstyle, they’re not implying that we looked unkempt before; they’re simply acknowledging that we look good right now. Instead of overanalyzing their words or letting negativity creep in, we should just enjoy the moment, run our fingers through our lovely hair, smile, and respond with a heartfelt “thank you.”
The same principle applies to parenting. If your mother says your kids were delightful during their visit, believe her. If another parent finds it charming that your daughter dressed as a princess to the playground, accept that compliment wholeheartedly. When a kind stranger observes you managing your kids in a busy store and tells you that you’re doing a commendable job, let those encouraging words resonate within you — take a deep breath and allow it to motivate you to continue doing your best.
Let’s collectively agree to start accepting compliments, shall we? Let’s choose to believe that when someone says something nice, they genuinely mean it. We should take pride in ourselves — our choices, our appearance, our children, our homes, and every aspect of our lives. We are women, powerful and remarkable, filled with beauty, resilience, grace, and courage. If someone recognizes that and offers a compliment, let’s take it to heart and strut our stuff with confidence.
From today forward, when anyone offers a kind word about me or my parenting, I will choose to interpret it as intended, silencing the negative thoughts in my head, and simply say “thank you.” And then, I might treat myself to an extra glass of wine, because I’m clearly thriving at this parenting journey.
For more on parenting and self-acceptance, check out this insightful article from our blog. And for additional motivation, visit Mindful Monday for some uplifting words from Sarah Jenkins. If you’re considering starting a family, this resource offers valuable information about fertility treatments and home insemination.
In summary, let’s shift our mindset to embrace compliments and acknowledge our strengths as mothers.