Can you do self-insemination at home ?
When my son wanted to attend a New Year’s Eve gathering with friends and his girlfriend, I found myself in a familiar dilemma. As a mother of a 17-year-old, navigating the rules can be challenging, but being in the midst of a pandemic made it somewhat easier to decline his request. Naturally, I became the villain in the eyes of my son, especially since his friends’ parents were more lenient, wanting the kids to “enjoy themselves” after a tough year.
I get it; it’s been hard for all of us. But then, there was another instance a few months later when a friend of my son turned 18, and his parents rented a hotel room for him and his friends to celebrate. Again, I found myself in the thick of it after saying no. The other moms were reaching out to me, my son was upset, and his friends were messaging me, assuring me everything would be fine.
When my son had a scratchy throat and runny nose before Christmas, I was the one who noticed first and took him for a COVID test. When my kids wanted to return to in-person learning after half a year of remote schooling, they came to me to plead their case. Just last week, I completely lost it when my daughter received an invitation to a slumber party, which I ultimately had to decline. I felt terrible—these kids have already faced so much—but I worried that a slumber party could easily turn into a super-spreader event, especially considering the antics teenagers often get up to.
My daughter seemed to understand my reasoning, but on the day of the party, the father of the host called me while I was trying to work, wanting to discuss why I wouldn’t allow my daughter to attend. He insisted they were taking precautions and urged me to reconsider. Yet, he didn’t reach out to my ex-husband; it was once again my responsibility to prioritize our family’s health and bear the brunt of being the “bad guy.”
This burden is not new; mothers often shoulder these responsibilities even in non-pandemic times. I’ve always been the one to notice when the kids need medical attention, to schedule appointments, and to facilitate their social lives. If there’s a need for groceries, they come to me. Last year, every decision felt monumental, with the stakes feeling like life or death. As a result, it’s been an incredibly exhausting year for moms everywhere, and it’s no surprise we often feel like we’re losing no matter what we do.
The weight of these responsibilities shouldn’t fall squarely on one person, especially not moms. I’ve heard arguments that it’s because women are “better at it,” but that’s nonsense. Being the one who constantly has to say no, make tough calls about health risks, and determine the necessity of outings can be overwhelming and debilitating.
When these responsibilities fall on mothers, it often leads to frustration. We become the “fun-sponges” in our kids’ eyes, sacrificing our own peace of mind while worrying about how to navigate this chaos. But this toll is significant, and I can confidently say I’ve never experienced such profound exhaustion in my life.
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In summary, the pandemic has placed an overwhelming burden on mothers, who are often left to make crucial decisions for their families alone. This responsibility can be exhausting and stressful, highlighting the need for shared decision-making and support.