Feb. 18, 2017
My little one has heard me say “Mommy’s preoccupied” so often that it has become one of his favorite phrases, even when I’m not truly busy. I often handle my work on my phone, but he knows I’m serious about business when I bring out the laptop.
It fills me with guilt when I have to utter the phrase “Mommy’s preoccupied” because I’m racing against a deadline. He didn’t ask to be part of my whirlwind life, yet he’s the very reason I strive to create a work-from-home lifestyle—whether it’s at home, the park, or the library. Being there for him has always been my top priority.
As a single mother, my situation is complicated, but I recognized I had options. I began by babysitting, which I still do today. Although I didn’t technically work from home, I considered myself a work-from-home mom since I brought my son along with me. My motivation was twofold: I wanted to be present in my son’s life, and the cost of childcare is exorbitant.
The high price of childcare initially pushed me to seriously consider working from home. When my son was born, I was still with his father, who worked long hours. Financially, I knew I had to work, but when I crunched the numbers, it became clear that my entire paycheck would go to someone else caring for my son. That just didn’t make sense.
Thus, I started exploring work-from-home opportunities. I was pleasantly surprised to find writing jobs available online. Though I had always viewed freelance writing as unattainable, I soon discovered it was a viable option, opening up a new world for me.
As a babysitter, I had to adhere to a strict schedule to make ends meet, leaving little flexibility for spontaneous activities with my son, like visits to the playground or the children’s museum. With my new writing career, I could be more present, and our routines became less frantic. My smartphone became my ally—I could jot down ideas or draft articles while we enjoyed our time together. This newfound freedom was liberating for both of us.
However, there are times when I need to concentrate intensely, especially when facing tight deadlines or complex research. During those moments, I won’t hesitate to hand him a tablet or turn on a TV show to keep him occupied for a bit. While he does play independently for a good part of the day, he has a knack for finding me and insisting on my attention, whether it’s to play trains or sing songs. For toddlers, getting attention is vital. Sometimes he grasps that Mommy is working (hence his “Mommy’s preoccupied” mantra), but often, he simply doesn’t care and will do anything to capture my focus.
The most significant challenge I face as a work-at-home mom is managing time. The work-life balance is tricky for all parents, but working from home introduces an additional layer of complexity that can feel overwhelming. There always seems to be a shortage of hours in the day. Occasionally, I must prioritize work over his needs, as we need funds to live and pay bills, and sometimes I can’t fulfill my responsibilities from the playground.
Once, on a particularly beautiful day, my sister suggested I take my son to the park. Of course, I wanted to, but I was in the middle of a project with a looming deadline. “Can’t you just write later?” she asked. I had to explain, “My editor doesn’t have the luxury of caring if it’s a sunny day.”
I often find myself typing away during nap times and burning the midnight oil after he goes to bed (or when I can persuade him to settle down). My trusty Cherry Coke and snacks fuel my late-night sessions.
It’s undoubtedly a challenge, and this lifestyle isn’t for everyone, but I deeply appreciate the opportunity. I cherish the moments spent with my son, the memories we create, and the laughter we share. In a few years, when he’s older and busy with friends, I’ll look back fondly on our adventures together. I won’t regret the late nights spent typing or the moments I had to retreat for “Mommy’s preoccupied.” The sacrifices are worth it.
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In summary, being a work-at-home mom presents unique challenges, from balancing deadlines to managing a toddler’s needs. Yet, the rewards of being present with my son and creating lasting memories are immeasurable.