Before becoming mothers, many women have clear ideas about how they will navigate the world of parenting. They watch other moms struggle with tantruming toddlers in the grocery store or witness the impressive multitasking of a mom birthing in a blow-up pool while homeschooling—swearing they will never find themselves in those situations.
Fast forward a couple of years, and after a few life changes, you might find yourself ordering a home birth kit while your toddler protests loudly in the midwife’s office. Motherhood can lead you to do things you never imagined, feel emotions you never expected, and sometimes even morph you into your own mother. Here are 15 rites of passage every mother faces:
- You’ll find yourself maneuvering one of those oversized, car-shaped grocery carts, kids spilling out of the windows, while you struggle to navigate the aisles. And despite your irritation, you will feel an inexplicable surge of anger if you arrive to find all the carts are gone.
- You’ll miss appointments—a parent-teacher conference, a coffee date, or even a work meeting—and you’ll readily blame your baby. Forget the fact that you once scoffed at coworkers using their children as excuses; now, it’s your turn!
- You’ll walk into public spaces, perhaps even a job interview, completely unaware that you have stickers stuck to your backside until you change at home.
- You may find yourself catching your child’s vomit—possibly with your bare hands—while in a setting ill-equipped for such emergencies. Think airplane, church during communion, or even at a restaurant. And yes, it’s mortifying when you ruin the first day of summer for dozens of kids at the pool. Just ask me how I know.
- You’ll go to great lengths to prevent your toddler from napping in the car. And if you fail, you’ll sit with him in the parked car, reading, while he snoozes away.
- You’ll hurt yourself trying to show your child that you can still keep up—whether it’s pogo sticking, skateboarding, or attempting to climb the jungle gym, only to find yourself dangling precariously.
- You’ll inevitably have a mom nemesis—the one who knows exactly how to push your buttons. She seems to be everywhere—at every class, soccer game, and even your salon! Her unsolicited advice will have you fantasizing about escaping her presence.
- You’ll start sounding just like your mother. It’s inevitable, and surprisingly, you’ll be okay with it.
- You’ll find yourself sharing photos of your children with strangers, often unsolicited.
- You’ll engage in an unspoken competition over whose baby is “better” with another mom at a Mommy & Me class. You know comparisons are pointless, but when she brings it up, you can’t help but mention that your kid walked at eight months.
- You’ll begin referring to yourself as “Mommy,” sometimes even in the third person, “Mommy says it’s time for bed,” and wonder when your real name became obsolete.
- You’ll feel guilty for wanting solitude on Mother’s Day. You may want to hide your desire for peace instead of a chaotic breakfast in bed.
- You’ll feel ancient and uncool when you embarrass your middle schooler in public by doing something he once thought was awesome.
- You’ll find yourself clutching your child’s worn-out lovey, weeping as you uncover it while cleaning out the toy box, missing an eye and smelling like cheese.
- You’ll tell a new mom to “cherish these moments; they go by so quickly,” despite secretly wishing you could have a peaceful shower during those exhausting newborn days.
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In summary, motherhood is filled with unexpected experiences that transform your perspective and priorities. Whether it’s the chaos of grocery shopping or the bittersweet nostalgia of your child’s lovey, these moments shape your journey and redefine what it means to be a mom.