When my son voiced his apprehension about starting first grade, I found myself reflecting on my own childhood fears—almost instinctively channeling my experiences as a child of immigrants. Years ago, I left my home country to start anew in North America with my partner. Although we communicate with our children in English, I can’t help but draw parallels to my past. While my son, Jake, has the advantage of being familiar with his upcoming school environment—having visited the schoolyard with his kindergarten teacher and played there since he was little—my own experience was vastly different.
Despite my efforts, I often grapple with connecting with Jake; it seems that factors like gender and our cultural backgrounds can create barriers. In this instance, I missed a crucial moment to foster a deeper connection through active listening. Instead of focusing on his feelings, I inadvertently shifted the attention to my own past. I realized that I didn’t need to provide solutions; I simply needed to allow him to express himself.
When Jake wakes up tomorrow, I know I won’t get everything right. There will be cues I’ll likely overlook. However, we will revisit the topic of first grade. I will ask him the question that children often pose to their parents: “Why?” This time, I will prioritize listening over responding.
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Summary:
The article discusses a mother’s reflection on her son’s anxiety about starting first grade, highlighting the importance of listening to children’s feelings rather than projecting personal experiences. The author emphasizes the need for connection and understanding in parenting, acknowledging their own challenges in bonding with their child.