Minecraft: Give Us Back Our Kids

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As parents, one of our main responsibilities is to nurture our children’s interests. We strive to provide them with resources and opportunities to delve into their passions. We aim to be supportive, enthusiastic, and engaged in whatever sparks their curiosity. But sometimes, those interests revolve around Minecraft.

If only I could choose what my kids liked, life would be simpler. Unfortunately, external influences like “school,” “friends,” and “the Internet” guide them toward things that don’t always excite me. Some interests are easy to dismiss, like when my child comes home asking if they can go to a friend’s house to play a game rated ‘M’ for mature audiences. I find myself answering questions I’d rather not entertain.

When they were toddlers, I endured the endless, whiny episodes of shows like Caillou and Dora. I dreamt of a day when they would grow up, and we might share some common ground in our entertainment choices. Little did I know that, as they were busy creating crafts, a man named Markus “Notch” Persson was busy developing the game that would make me roll my eyes to the point of injury: Minecraft.

To be fair, I can’t really argue against Minecraft. It’s a constructive alternative to many mindless video games. There are no inappropriate themes, and it encourages creativity and strategic thinking. If they would just enjoy it quietly, we could all coexist peacefully.

However, the same kids who often respond to my inquiries about their day with a simple “nothing” will enthusiastically talk about Minecraft until I wonder if they might pass out from excitement. They shadow me everywhere in the house, even to the mailbox, discussing the latest game updates. I can’t help but wonder: why are my kids so obsessed with this pixelated world?

I’ve made efforts to engage with their passion. I’ve played the game myself, hoping to understand the allure. Unfortunately, all I could see were blocky creatures that resemble green penises (a sight I wish I could unsee). I’ve spent what feels like ages trying to pay attention, but it’s just so challenging.

It’s not just their endless chatter about Minecraft; it’s also the unique terminology that feels like a new language to me. “Griefing,” “spawning,” “endermen,” “redstone”—I feel like a lost tourist in a foreign land, only able to grasp basic phrases like “restroom” and “beer.”

When they’re not playing or discussing Minecraft, they’re glued to YouTube, watching others play—often channels like Stampy Longhead or The Diamond Minecart. They’re constantly asking for Minecraft merchandise. They don Minecraft shirts, read Minecraft-related books, and even have figurines. I once forked over $35 for a tiny Minecraft Lego set, which felt like an investment in a never-ending obsession.

I know I’m not alone in this struggle. After all, “Notch” himself managed to buy a sprawling mansion for $70 million, complete with a candy room. I could definitely use a room like that—hint, hint, Notch!

While I love my children’s enthusiasm and passion for learning, there’s such a thing as too much of a good thing. It’s time for a change. We’re moving in with Notch, where my kids can pester someone who understands their obsession while I seek a moment of peace. After all, he has 15 bathrooms—what could go wrong?

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Summary

Parenting can be a challenge, especially when children’s interests revolve around things like Minecraft. While it’s a constructive game that fosters creativity, the endless chatter and obsession can be overwhelming for parents. Striking a balance between support and sanity is crucial!