I often find myself longing to be a more ‘typical’ partner. I wish I could maintain a tidy home, prepare meals, bake treats, and host friends. Instead, my living space is often cluttered, cooking is a rare occurrence, baking is nearly nonexistent, and laundry piles up. Organization? I can spend ages searching for a textbook or a functioning pen.
More often than not, I’m curled up under a blanket, binge-watching familiar sitcoms while scrolling through social media and munching on snacks. It’s easy to label this behavior as laziness and feel inadequate. But then I have to remind myself: this isn’t mere idleness.
Each day, I’m engaged in a significant struggle to manage my mental health. This ongoing battle consumes a lot of my energy, leaving me in need of rest and recovery.
Reflecting on my day, I begin to see things differently. This morning, getting out of bed was a challenge. My anxiety disrupts my sleep, and while I take medication to help, it can make mornings difficult. It took me 45 minutes to find the strength to shower and get ready for work. But I made it to work early—a small but meaningful victory.
Throughout the day, I maintained focus and avoided panic attacks, even in situations that typically trigger anxiety. Interacting with colleagues was taxing due to social anxiety, but I managed to be friendly and professional, which is no small feat.
After work, I dedicated time to unwinding, seeking out positive reading materials, and practicing self-care. It felt restorative to relax after a demanding week. Later, I mustered the energy to enjoy a board game with my partner and handle two loads of laundry. I also caught up with friends over email—activities that are fulfilling yet exhausting.
At night, I spent hours experimenting with techniques to help combat my insomnia.
When I review my day, I no longer see a lazy individual. Instead, I recognize someone who faces daily challenges head-on. I see someone who strives to be a good employee, friend, and partner, despite the internal struggles. I make self-care a priority because I value my well-being.
I am not lazy; I confront small battles every day. Victory is not guaranteed, but I keep pushing forward.
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Summary:
This article emphasizes that mental health struggles are often mistaken for laziness. The author shares personal experiences of battling anxiety and insomnia while still achieving daily tasks. It highlights the importance of recognizing the effort involved in managing mental illness and prioritizes self-care.