It all began quite innocently. As the seasons changed, I woke up one morning feeling like I’d just run a marathon. “Must be the heating,” my partner, Alex, suggested. “I cranked it up while I showered because it was freezing!” Sounds logical, right? The heater was on, I felt hot, and I sweated. Nothing out of the ordinary.
But lately, I find myself waking up with a damp shirt almost every morning, and I’m now couponing for deodorant like it’s a new hobby. The back pain crept in just as subtly. One day, I overdid it—too much time on my feet, too much lifting—and I was prepared to accept the consequences. Fair enough.
However, months have passed, and I can hardly recall a day without some level of discomfort in my lower back. It feels as if my body is perpetually preparing for a visit from Aunt Flo. I mean, it’s everything: the aching back, the restless legs, constant fatigue, bloating, and let’s not even talk about my short temper. The dog is not safe either. If you think I’m joking, just watch what happens if I spot trash on the floor that hasn’t been picked up. You’ve been warned.
Yet, my period is behaving like a model citizen. It’s neither late nor sporadic, and it hasn’t changed in intensity. It’s doing exactly what it should, which is why I was so slow to consider that I might be experiencing what my mom and grandmother referred to as “the change.” If it hadn’t been for a random comment on social media, I might still be in the dark.
I’m 39. Yes, thirty-nine! My body feels it, but my mind is still stuck at 25. The “old people problems” I used to scoff at have suddenly landed on my doorstep, and I’m left scrambling for answers like a madwoman.
Initially, I started typing inquiries into Google like, “Should I see a doctor about menopause?” I mean, I didn’t see a doctor when my period started, so what’s the protocol for the end? It’s not like there’s a manual for this stuff. Menopause is a term whispered about in secret, worse than talking about periods. I’d find myself frantically searching for answers to questions like, “Why does my lower back hurt all the time?” only to be bombarded with scary results about obscure diseases with dire consequences, while menopause never appears in the top ten answers.
This experience seems universal, so why is it so hard to find straightforward information? Why am I resorting to Google instead of asking friends? Honestly, I don’t know. My brain feels like it’s operating on a different frequency, or maybe I’m just on the brink of losing it… or maybe I’m simply perimenopausal?
Speaking of talking to people, that hasn’t been going so well. After my husband made a joke about hot flashes (not funny, by the way), it ended with some not-so-nice exchanges. So, I’m keeping my distance from human interaction for now, thanks.
Yet, as much as I’d like to avoid everyone except those who bring me snacks or a fan, I’m facing another bizarre issue. Supposedly, I should be experiencing a decline in libido and vaginal dryness. But guess what? That’s not happening. Quite the opposite, actually. Alex is thrilled; he’s jokingly asking if I’ve discovered a new female Viagra. Maybe I should invest in Energizer batteries at this rate.
I’m utterly perplexed. None of this aligns with what I’ve been told to expect. Is it just me, or is there a broader conversation we’re missing out on? Are we so bound by outdated stereotypes that we can’t even have an honest discussion about menopause and perimenopause? Or perhaps I’m just not perimenopausal; maybe I’m just sleep-deprived, dealing with back pain, and overheating for no reason.
Okay, scratch that. I’m leaning towards the idea of outdated perceptions. And definitely scheduling an appointment with my doctor next week.
For those navigating similar experiences, there are excellent resources available. Check out Progyny for comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination. If you’re seeking tips to stay active, Intracervical Insemination has some great workouts. And if you’re curious about at-home insemination options, be sure to visit Make a Mom.
Summary:
Navigating the challenges of perimenopause can be confusing and isolating. Many women experience unexpected symptoms, from hot flashes to back pain, but the conversation around menopause is often shrouded in secrecy. This article highlights the struggles and misunderstandings that come with this life stage while encouraging readers to seek information and support.