Mastering Dinner Preparation with a Toddler in 100 Steps

1. Inform your little one that dinner needs to be made.
2. Suggest that they entertain themselves with their toy kitchen.
3. Enthusiastically say, “Mommy/Daddy is going to create something delicious! Would you like to join in your kitchen?”
4. Take a moment to thank the universe that your child is actually interested.
5. Begin preparing dinner.
6. Wash the potatoes thoroughly.
7. Fill a pot with water.
8. Smash some garlic.
9. Heat the water until it boils.
10. Ask your toddler if they want to boil some water in their play kitchen too.
11. Remind them that they can use pretend water from their toy faucet.
12. Ask your toddler to calm down, but they seem too excited.
13. Since they aren’t calming, suggest they fetch a BPA-free plastic cup for real water.
14. Emphasize to them to only fill it a little.
15. Realize that asking them to pretend to boil water might not have been the best idea.
16. Take the meat out of the fridge.
17. Notice your toddler is at the fridge, ready to fill their cup.
18. Offer assistance.
19. Explain that hitting is not allowed in your home.
20. Stand back as they shout, “I. SAID. DON’T. HELP. ME!”
21. Watch as water spills all over the kitchen floor from their overflowing cup.
22. Resist the urge to say, “I told you so.”
23. Attempt to console your toddler.
24. Dash upstairs for a towel.
25. Run back up for a larger towel.
26. Clean the mess while gently moving your toddler out of the way.
27. Ask if there’s anything you can do to help them feel better.
28. Inform them they can’t have a lollipop since dinner will be ready soon.
29. Remind them that scratching is not nice.
30. Notice a slight scratch on your arm and convey guilt by saying, “Look, you hurt Mommy/Daddy.”
31. Allow your toddler to softly touch your face as they apologize, “Sowee Mommy/Daddy. Can I have a lollipop now?”
32. Hand over the bag of lollipops and let them pick one.
33. Explain that there are no more blue lollipops.
34. They will naturally ask why.
35. Remind them they finished all the blue ones in one day.
36. Explain that you cannot go get more blue lollipops right now because you are busy cooking.
37. Reiterate that throwing lollipops is not acceptable in your home, especially not an entire bag.
38. Try to provide comfort.
39. Change the subject to distract your toddler.
40. Ask if they’d like to help set the table.
41. Watch them sprint to the cutlery drawer.
42. Season the meat quickly while they gather forks.
43. Preheat the oven.
44. Praise your toddler for their excellent fork placement.
45. Ask them to retrieve the napkins.
46. Fix the forks while they aren’t looking.
47. Realize that they have caught you in the act.
48. Hold your breath as an upset toddler approaches.
49. Remind them that silverware should not be thrown.
50. Duck for cover.
51. Continue trying to console them.
52. Ask if they can help pick up the forks.
53. Thank them for their assistance.
54. Offer a tissue.
55. While they grab one, quickly fold the dropped napkins.
56. Add potatoes to the boiling water.
57. Ask if they want to watch Doc McStuffins.
58. Explain that outdoor play isn’t possible at the moment due to cooking.
59. Suggest Mickey Mouse Clubhouse instead.
60. Wonder why you can’t have a toddler who enjoys TV.
61. Invite them to help dry lettuce in the salad spinner.
62. After five minutes of spinning, inform them that the spinner needs a break.
63. Let them taste the lettuce.
64. Remind them that spitting is not allowed.
65. Ask them to clean up the lettuce they spat out with a napkin.
66. Immediately regret bringing up napkins again.
67. Watch your toddler strut to the table.
68. They notice napkins are already out.
69. Observe as they crumple every napkin into a ball.
70. Watch them toss the crumpled napkins onto the floor.
71. Ask if they feel better now.
72. Try to comfort them again.
73. Apologize for your mistake in setting out the napkins and say, “I forgot it was your turn to do that!”
74. Gently pat their back.
75. Suggest they might want to place the napkins back on the table.
76. Watch as they carefully return each crumpled napkin.
77. Rinse the cucumbers and tomatoes.
78. Slice them up.
79. Ask if they want to help with the mashed potatoes.
80. Pray they say no.
81. Put on a fake smile when they enthusiastically agree.
82. Help them drag a chair to the counter.
83. Remind them that the potatoes are very hot.
84. Gather milk and butter.
85. Retrieve the potato masher.
86. Drain the potatoes and transfer them to a large bowl.
87. Let your toddler help mash the hot potatoes.
88. Ask if you can have a turn now.
89. Warn them they have one more minute.
90. Inform them their time is up.
91. Count to three if they don’t relinquish the masher.
92. Count to three.
93. Comfort your toddler while you finish mashing.
94. Add milk and butter to the mix.
95. Continue to comfort them as you season the lukewarm mashed potatoes.
96. Allow your toddler to add some extra salt to the mashed potatoes. Okay, a lot of extra salt.
97. Toss the salad.
98. Call the rest of the family for dinner.
99. Give the family a stern look when they inquire about the crumpled napkins and cold mashed potatoes.
100. Finally realize you forgot to prepare the meat.

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Summary

Cooking dinner with a toddler can be an adventure filled with unexpected challenges and delightful moments. From engaging them with pretend play to managing spills and meltdowns, this process requires patience and creativity. By integrating fun activities like setting the table and assisting with meal prep, you can make this experience enjoyable for both you and your little one. Just remember to breathe and embrace the chaos!