Someone once told me that using a sound machine in my children’s rooms was a mistake. They believed that my kids should learn to sleep through the natural sounds of the household to become better sleepers. Their argument was that I was setting them up for a lifelong dependency on specific sleep conditions, which could complicate future sleep arrangements with roommates or partners. I felt compelled to respond, but I realized that unless you’ve experienced the sleepless nights of parenthood and the desperate measures we take to help our children sleep, your opinions don’t hold much weight.
I wasn’t resorting to extreme measures like giving my kids bourbon; I was simply creating a peaceful environment with minimal disruptions. Lying down beside my kids until they fall asleep has never seemed like a bad habit to me. Instead, it’s a chance to foster calm and connection amid the chaos of our busy lives.
When my first child arrived, I was uncertain about my parenting approach. The pressure to adhere to the “right” methods from books and parenting forums was overwhelming. I constantly compared myself to others, hoping to find the best strategies for everything from teething to sleep routines. My daughter was relatively easygoing, but I struggled with her bedtime. Transitioning from a crib to a toddler bed proved challenging, as she often refused to stay in her room. After numerous attempts to get her to sleep independently, my ex-partner and I found ourselves lying down next to her until she drifted off.
Initially, I felt guilty, thinking I lacked the strength to help her sleep on her own. But when my twins came along, my parenting philosophy shifted. Survival became the priority, and I learned to embrace what worked best in each situation, especially when it came to bedtime. I stopped second-guessing myself and began to cherish the moments spent snuggling with my children at night. I realized that this practice was not a failure; rather, it was a new way to bond with them.
Fast forward a few years, and my daughter is now almost nine. I still stay with her until she falls asleep as part of our bedtime ritual. My twins, now six, also enjoy having me in their bed while I read them stories and tuck them in. After our reading time, we turn off the lights, snuggle under the covers, and share quiet moments together. They often recount their day, share their school anticipations, or simply nestle against me, feeling content. These moments are filled with relaxation and joy for all of us.
In the midst of our hectic daily lives—filled with noise, sibling squabbles, and meals on the go—our bedtime routine offers a serene end to the day. Occasionally, I might doze off too, but I set an alarm to ensure I don’t sleep too long. My ex-partner follows a similar routine, and while we don’t label our nighttime ritual as co-sleeping or attachment parenting, we recognize the bond we’ve formed around their sleep.
Research supports the idea that sleeping near your children can promote emotional security and a sense of connection. One study, which examined the sleep patterns of 944 families, found that co-sleeping did not negatively affect children’s development, including their cognitive and social skills. For those interested in learning more, you might explore this excellent resource on infertility and family planning from the CDC.
Whether you believe in co-sleeping or not, prioritize what works best for you and your child. I value the time spent bonding with my kids, and they thrive on that attention and snuggle time. Lying down with them serves multiple purposes: it fosters connection, ensures they get a good night’s sleep, and creates cherished memories. I no longer view it as a bad habit—just as I don’t see using a sound machine as detrimental to their sleep.
If you’re curious about other perspectives on parenting, check out this insightful blog post.
In conclusion, the act of lying down with your children as they fall asleep is a nurturing practice that strengthens emotional bonds, offering both comfort and connection. Embrace what feels right for your family.