By: Jenna Thompson
Updated: Feb. 24, 2020
Originally Published: Feb. 10, 2018
My partner and I have been married for nearly 12 years, during which time we’ve welcomed six children in just seven years. Each day feels like an endurance race, where our main goal is simply to reach the end and collapse into bed. In this phase of life, love isn’t characterized by grand gestures or sweeping romance. Instead, it manifests as small, everyday acts of kindness and support.
Love, while parenting young children, is deeply rooted in the mundane yet meaningful moments that allow us to navigate this chaotic time together. Here’s my perspective on what love truly means in this busy season of life:
- Love is grabbing that perfect caramel macchiato for me because, even though you’re not a fan of fancy coffees, you recognize they are my lifeline.
- Love means managing the bedtime routine for all the kids so I can enjoy an evening out with friends, indulging in essential conversations about the latest in reality TV.
- Love is knowing that when I ask, “How’s it going?” I’m really inquiring about your ETA home.
- Love is acknowledging my need to text my closest friends and family daily to share the ups and downs of our lives—no matter how many messages that entails.
- Love is collaborating on our parenting journey, sharing our concerns about whether our kids are treating others kindly or when the little ones will hit their milestones.
- Love involves reminding me that I’m doing a great job as a mom, especially on days when I feel overwhelmed.
- Love is tackling the mess in the car—no complaints, just action.
- Love is accepting the changes in my body after each baby and focusing on what truly matters.
- Love is texting me from the grocery store to ask what we need, and patiently awaiting my exhaustive list of essentials, which inevitably includes wine.
- Love is recognizing my need for a moment of solitude, even if that means I’m sipping wine in the bathroom during a much-needed time out.
- Love is stepping in to clean up spills during dinner so I can actually enjoy my meal.
- Love is sharing laughter over the silliest things that make our daily lives chaotic.
- Love is taking on more than your fair share of diaper duty.
- Love is searching the cabinets at 3 a.m. for ear drops to ease our daughter’s pain.
- Love is heading straight to the dishwasher upon entering the house, knowing it’s a chore I dread, regardless of your own exhaustion.
- Love is enduring long lines for the kids’ favorite activities because their joy is contagious.
- Love is asking, “How can I assist?” when you sense I’m overwhelmed.
- Love is cherishing the unique personalities of our kids and celebrating their individuality.
- Love is lying beside the older girls until they drift off to sleep, night after night.
- Love is frequently expressing, “I’m sorry,” when miscommunications arise.
- Love is sharing humorous parenting memes that resonate with our chaotic lives.
- Love is recognizing my subtle cues for help.
- Love is maintaining our garden and allowing the kids to assist, even when it takes longer.
- Love is pushing the children on swings and building sandcastles until exhaustion sets in.
- Love is all-encompassing—our family, the laughter, the worries, the joy, and the hard work that defines our days.
To my partner, I love you deeply. There’s no one else I’d choose to share this life with.
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In summary, love during this intense and joyful phase of parenting is defined by small gestures and shared experiences that strengthen our bond amidst the chaos.