Updated: Jan. 11, 2021
Originally Published: June 9, 2020
When law enforcement threw a grenade into the home of young Tamara Lewis, her toys were scattered outside the door. A SWAT team broke in, and in a tragic turn of events, an officer fired a single shot that struck Tamara, ending her life at just seven years old.
Imagining little Tamara peacefully sleeping next to her grandmother on that fateful night brings to mind my own daughters and the future milestones I hope to celebrate with them. I can see myself enthusiastically capturing their smiles in prom dresses and cheering for them at their graduations. I envision the tears of joy I will shed when I hold my first grandchild. But the horrifying thought of waking up to find them injured—shot in the night by those who are supposed to protect them—haunts me.
I shouldn’t be surprised by these thoughts; according to the Fatal Interactions with Police Project, a study released in 2018, Black women are disproportionately at risk of being killed by police even when unarmed, more so than white women and even Black men.
My daughters are so young. The youngest adores puzzles and cars; for her last birthday, she yearned for Pokémon cards to trade with her friends. My eldest, a fourth grader, has a passion for art and history and once dressed as Queen Nefertiti for Halloween, showcasing her creativity with a costume made from beads.
Why would my little girls ever find themselves in a situation involving the police? Then I think of Ava Collins, who was handcuffed at the age of six for throwing a tantrum, and the incident involving Sarah Thompson, a 16-year-old who was violently restrained at a pool party in Texas. My daughters can have their moments too.
However, these events are not mere anomalies. Research from Georgetown reveals that adults perceive Black girls as young as five as needing less care and protection compared to their white counterparts. Another study shows that Black girls are suspended at twice the rate of their peers, despite similar behaviors. This widespread dehumanization leads to fewer protections and more punitive actions, increasing their risk of fatal encounters with law enforcement—often with little to no accountability for the officers involved.
As a mother, the desire to be a “good” parent weighs heavily on me. My own upbringing was complicated, and I strive to avoid repeating mistakes. I’ve taken parenting classes and absorbed literature on child development. Child psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel outlines the “Four S’s” essential for secure attachment: Seen, Soothed, Secure, and Safe. While I have worked hard to fulfill these needs, the last one—safety—often feels elusive.
I’ve followed guidelines from pediatricians and educators, ensuring my children understand how to navigate the world safely. However, the realization that I have limited influence over their experiences with racism and sexism is heartbreaking. As Black girls, my daughters face unique vulnerabilities, including a higher risk of violence from intimate partners than their peers in other demographics.
Contrasting this, society has made strides against domestic violence since the 1920s, establishing laws and support for victims. Yet, accountability for police misconduct remains elusive. When Colin Kaepernick peacefully protested police brutality, he faced backlash rather than support—a reflection of the societal unwillingness to confront these issues.
In the face of this, I’m left with two unsettling choices to safeguard my daughters: to either accept the empty words of “thoughts and prayers” or to remain silent while watching my children’s lives threatened.
For more insights on these pressing issues, check out our other blog post on home insemination. Additionally, for authoritative perspectives on these topics, visit Intracervical Insemination and explore RMAny for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary: The article reflects on the tragic reality facing Black girls and women in America, highlighting systemic issues of racism and violence. It emphasizes the struggles of a mother who seeks to protect her daughters from societal injustices, while also addressing the challenges posed by law enforcement. The piece calls for accountability and awareness, urging readers to consider the lives of Black girls and the urgent need for change.