To my future adopted child:
Though I may not yet know your name or even if you have entered this world, my heart is eager to embrace you. I find myself frequently dreaming about our future together, feeling a deep ache in my heart because you are not here yet.
What is your life like right now? As I navigate my early 30s—celebrating a loving marriage with your wonderful dad, advancing in my career, and enjoying mountain getaways—I can’t help but feel an increasing sense of emptiness. Are you simply a possibility in the cosmos, waiting to be born? Or are you in a situation that is less than ideal, caught in a family that is unraveling and finding your way into the foster care system? I hope you are safe tonight.
While you may not share my DNA, I am certain that we were meant to be together. My life experiences have been tailored to prepare me for you. After a decade of teaching preschool, I have learned how to open my heart to children in need. Each tear shed over a scraped knee and every child who sought comfort during a storm has shaped my nurturing spirit. When former students return to share their success, I feel a profound sense of fulfillment. Yes, I will love you and embrace my role as your mother, even if you have other maternal figures in your past. I promise not to feel jealousy, or at least, not too much.
I possess a lively and imaginative heart, excitedly waiting to share the wonders of art, kindness, and imagination with you. I have guided little ones in their first steps, taught them to count, read, and the importance of empathy. My work with foster children has further enriched my understanding of love and patience, especially for those who carry their own struggles. I often found those who were the most challenging were the ones I cared for the deepest, knowing they required not just compassion, but also structure.
Many well-meaning individuals have remarked, “You’ll be an incredible mother someday!” It feels somewhat unjust, but this will only strengthen our bond. While you have faced the sorrow of being without a parent, I have felt the void of being childless. I’ve watched friends celebrate their new arrivals while you’ve witnessed children holding their mothers’ hands at school. We share an understanding of loss that will amplify our joy when we finally come together—every hardship and skill we acquire will lead us to that moment.
When my former partner welcomed his first child, I recognized that his dream had been realized—a dream I could never fulfill for him. He understood my sadness and reassured me, saying, “I know you long to pass on your genes, your eyes, your cheeks. But you will pass on what truly matters; your soul and spirit.” Those words have echoed in my mind on nights filled with longing for you. I worry about you even now. Is your life going smoothly? What experiences will you carry with you when we finally unite? Will you get to know our beloved dog, Willow? She would absolutely adore you, and I hope you get the chance to meet her.
Will you have the opportunity to connect with your great-grandmother and great-grandfather? They are eagerly anticipating your arrival, often wondering when we will finally come together.
Some individuals wait for a soulmate, but I am destined to be your mother. I cannot wait for the day when we finally meet; life is preparing us for one another, and I believe that a higher power is guiding us toward this beautiful union.
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In summary, as we wait for the moment our paths cross, know that every experience in our lives is shaping us for one another, preparing us for the joy that awaits.